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2 Samuel 12-13

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3/26/2003
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2 Samuel 12-13
2 Samuel 12-13
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10 2 Samuel - 2003

Second Samuel is the book which relates the triumphs, transgressions, and troubles of David, Israel's greatest king. Pastor Skip Heitzig tells the story of the "man after God's own heart."

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You have a video. Let's turn to 2 Samuel chapter 12.

Growing up I observed people's, oh, their peculiarities, how they would say certain things. And I'd imitate them. And I don't know if it was because I was bored or I was just an obnoxious kid. There's certain people have certain voice patterns that are unusual or they're distinct. And so I would listen to them. And sometimes I'd say things even back to the person in their voice. And of course, they didn't like this. They thought I was making fun of them. But it was just because I noticed it. And it passed the time, OK.

In the scripture we are called to be imitators of those good examples. For instance, we're called to imitate Jesus Christ. Be imitators of God as dear children. Now that doesn't mean that you're to do what I did, you're to literally imitate them. That is you don't have to grow long hair, have a staff, and say verily, verily, to say I am imitating Christ. It means that you follow his lifestyle, right?

Paul said, follow me as I follow the Lord. The writer of Hebrews says that we should imitate those who through faith and patience inherit the promises.

We have examples in the scripture that are noteworthy and worthy to be followed as an example, others who are not. Other lives we're to look at, notice their flaws, and avoid them. I read a great quote once by Galen Anderson who divided all people up into two groups, two categories. He said, "All people are either tumbleweeds or oak trees," an interesting analogy. Some people are tumbleweeds. They're drifters. They're born. They don't really do much else except exist. They become eventually "a blotch on society," says Galen Anderson. Their life doesn't account for much. They don't add much to society. When they die, nobody really mourns their loss.

Other people, he says, are oak trees. They provide something. They give shade. They're blessings to people. They give. And so when I read that, of course, we ask ourselves, am I a tumbleweed or am I an oak tree?

And there are certain people in the Bible that if I say their names you would be able to say one or the other. Paul was a oak tree. Joseph was a oak tree. Very good. Judas a-- a weed, right, a tumbleweed. Saul-- King Saul, a tumbleweed, I think.

What about David? I think he's both. I think there's certain things in his life that we definitely notice and we should follow. After all, he's a man after God's own heart. That's a pretty great thing to say about somebody. God said that about him, a man after My own heart. Therefore, there are certain things in David's life that are great things to look at and to copy, to emulate, his devotion to God, his praise of God.

But there are certain things in his life that you shouldn't follow, we shouldn't do. And such is the example that we have read so far in the last couple of weeks in this chapter.

Also, we discovered a guy by the name of Nathan the prophet. What do you think he was? Oak tree, definitely. I mean, he put his life on the line. And to influence a King, which would in turn influence a nation, he dared to walk into his presence and rebuke him to his face. And I think it's a noteworthy example, as we saw last time. I mean, you'd walk into the King's court. And no doubt gulp and swallow and think what I say could end my life.

There's a great saying though, and it really helps to remember this. "If you fear God, you don't have to fear anyone else." Isn't that great? If you really fear the Lord, which we're called to do, primarily. It's the beginning of wisdom. It's the beginning of knowledge. If you can fear God, you don't have to fear anybody else. Or put another way, if you kneel before God, you can stand before anyone. And he stood up before King David, because he had been on his knees before God. And he definitely rebuked him.

There is a principle in the scripture that we saw in part and we see again tonight. It's the principle of farming, sowing and reaping. Whatever a man sows, that shall he also reap. And David sowed to the wind. And David is about to reap the whirlwind. That's right out of the Old Testament by the way, Hosea chapter 8. God speaks of those who sow to the wind and they reap the whirlwind.

In chapter 12, I want to take you back to verse 7 where it says, "Nathan said to David, 'You are the man.'" I don't have to give you the background. You know it so well by now, by heart, no doubt. "Thus says the Lord God of Israel, 'I anointed you King over Israel. I delivered you from the hand of Saul. I gave you your master's house and your master's wives in your keeping and gave you the house of Israel and Judah. And if that had been too little, I also would have given you much more. Why have you despised the commandment of the Lord to do evil in his sight? You have killed the Uriah the Hittite with the sword. You have taken his wife to be your wife. You have killed him with the sword of the people of Ammon.'"

Who is talking? Well, Nathan is talking, but the Lord is talking through him. He's the prophet, the mouthpiece of God, speaking on behalf of God. He doesn't rebuke him as a man, but as the Lord standing in front of this man saying, you are the man. God is saying, I blessed you with so much. I lifted you so high. There's a lesson there. The higher you are, the further you have to fall. The higher on the pedestal you reside, the more dramatic is your fall.

So if God has raised you up to a position of influence, when you fall, you will affect more people, which means there is a sense of responsibility and integrity that leaders must have. And there's a variety of leaders. Dads are leaders. Moms are leaders. People who are managers are leaders.

The higher you are in influence, the greater responsibility. Thus, the greater amount of integrity you need to have, because that pedestal comes with a price. That price is influence, for good or for evil. David had a great influence on the nation. But we also see in Nathan's rebuke that he has a great influence for other people who have been watching him, as well.

Now we've got a question on the internet from Norman, I believe it is. And Norman asks, "Can a person who committed adultery live a godly life with the person he did this with, if the ex-spouse has moved on and said he is free to do so? If not, can this person truly be free to remarry again?" Well, there's a lot of issues involved in that question. And I'm not going to unravel each one.

But the answer to can a person who has committed adultery in the past live a godly life with a person who he did this with if the ex-spouse has moved on, of course, yes. Anybody can live a godly life at any time he or she wishes, no matter what he or she has done. How? It's called repentance. It's realizing what you did was wrong, turning from it. You say, yeah, but I've already made the wrong choice and now I'm in this relationship.

There's a scripture where God says, "If from there, you turn to me, I will listen." And He was speaking of the children of Israel, who when they would turn away from God, go into idolatry and be taken captive, even in a foreign land, the land of Babylon. There they are estranged from God as a covenant people. There they are in a foreign land. There they are away from their temple. There they are not experiencing God's highest, but God's second or third best. "If from there, you turn to me, I will listen."

God seeks to bring you to the highest possible level He can in your life. And you can settle at God's ultimate, God's highest, or God's second best or third, depending on what choices you make and what sins you dwell in. But God seeks to bring you to the absolute best and highest level and will do for you the very best at the level at which you allow Him to bring you to.

Oh, so yes, the answer is definitely yes. To recognize what I've done is wrong, but I'm going to turn and I'm going to follow God right in this relationship. Now if it's a relationship where you're committing adultery and the person that was your ex-spouse has moved on and remarried, because that person-- according to the scripture-- is the innocent party and has the biblical grounds for remarriage because of your adultery, you know, the Bible gives that person who did the sin one of two choices, either A, be reconciled with your spouse, or B, remain single and stay in a godly lifestyle before the Lord as a single person. Those are the choices that Paul gave in 1 Corinthians 7. But let's move on with our study.

And no doubt, just answering that brings up a whole load of other questions that some of you have. And you can ask them to my assistants after the study. They know all the answers.

[LAUGHTER]

No, we'll be available to answer these questions.

Verse 10, "'Now, therefore the sword shall never depart from your house because you have despised me and have taken the wife of Uriah the Hittite to be your wife,' thus says the Lord, 'Behold, I will raise up adversity against you from your own house. I will take your wives before your eyes and give them to your neighbor. And he shall lie with your wives in the sight of the sun. For you did it secretly, but I will do this thing before all of Israel, before the sun.' And David said to Nathan, 'I have sinned against the Lord.'" That's called confession.

By the way, what do you do when you discover there is something in your life that's wrong before God? Which we do, don't we from time to time? We'll read the Bible. We'll be in a Bible study. We'll read a book. And we go, oh, that's an area of my life that I need change in. I haven't been living up to God's standard here. What do you do when you discover personal sin? Well, you do the same thing you did when you were first convicted, before you came to Christ the first time and you turned to Him.

Number one, you admit it. You admit it. Lord, this is wrong, no excuses. Well, God, it's really not my fault, it's genetic. They made me watch Barney as a child and that's why I think the way I do. Don't blame it on Barney or your parents or your genetics. Admit it, I've sinned.

Number two, leave it. Leave it. That's what repentance means. It means you turn around. You change your direction because you've changed your mind. If you haven't changed your mind about the sin, you can't change your direction. And if you haven't changed your mind in your direction, there is no repentance. And so you admit it. You leave it.

Solomon, David's son, wrote in one of his Proverbs, "Whoever conceals his sin will not prosper. But whoever confesses and forsakes it, shall prosper." So it's one thing to say, yeah, I confess that sin. It's another thing to walk away from it and leave it. Admit it. Leave it.

Number three, I would say, replace it. Replace it, because this helps. Now there's a void, right? Now there is an activity you've stopped doing. Do something else. Serve the Lord. Replace it with the love and devotion and an adoration for Christ. That's what Jesus told the church at Ephesus, who had left their first love, "Remember from whence you have fallen. Return and do again those first things, those things that drew you so close to me at the beginning."

Well, David said, "I have sinned." He admitted it. He's going to turn from it. And he will replace it, eventually. "Nathan said to David, 'The Lord also has put away your sin and you shall not die. However, by this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme. The child, also, who was born to you shall surely die.' Then Nathan departed to his house."

Uh-oh, now we're dealing with consequences. Forgiveness is one thing, is it not? Consequences are yet another. We scratched the surface of that last time. Now question, Why did Nathan say this? Why did he say, "You're not going to die?" Because it's something David said. When David heard the parable about the guy with the sheep, what did he say? That man shall surely die. And David said, notice, and restore-- if I could just drag you back, verse 6, "And he shall restore fourfold for the lamb, because he did this thing and because he had no pity."

David, listen carefully, will pay a fourfold consequence according to the book of Exodus chapter 22. He's not going to die, which is the punishment for adultery. God's going to spare his life. But he will have a fourfold consequence. Number one, the baby that is in Bathsheba's womb, this illegitimate child, will die, go to heaven, but die. Number two, Amnon, his son, will be murdered. Number three, Absalom, his son, in a revolt will be slain. And number four, Adonijah, another son, will be executed later on.

So you're not going to die, David. But you're going to see death fourfold. You murdered Uriah the Hittite and this consequence is going to linger for a while in your own family. "By this occasion," verse 14, or "By this deed you have given great occasion to the enemies of the Lord to blaspheme." We don't think about this much these days. But it's a New Testament scripture and principle, as well. You know it. But if you'd allow me, I'm going to read this to you, even though we read it a few weeks ago or several weeks ago in Galatians.

"Do not be deceived," Galatians 6 verse 7 says, "God is not mocked. For whatever a man sows, that he will also reap. For he who sows to the flesh, will of the flesh, reap corruption. He who sows to the Spirit, will of the spirit, reap everlasting life." It's the law of the harvest. And it's true. Listen carefully, it's true not only that you reap what you sow. Generally, you reap more than you sow. When you sow seed, you get more than just a handful. What eventually comes up is a whole crop that sometimes can take several feet or acres of land, in terms of occupation. And then it has seeds within itself. And that can perpetuate for years. What you've sown in a handful can sometimes get a whole lot more.

And so you might sow to the flash. Morally, this is true. When you're not discriminate with what you watch in terms of movies or literature and it puts pictures in your minds and you get caught up in it. And years may pass where it grows and grows and grows and you reap a harvest of corruption. It's true personally, maritally, relationally. If you sow love and intimacy and commitment into a marriage, you are going to reap the benefits of that severalfold.

And David is going to have, now, a lifetime of consequence, which the rest of the book principally is about from these verses onward. Verse 15, right in the middle, back in 2 Samuel chapter 12, "The Lord struck the child that Uriah's wife bore to David and it became very ill. David therefore pleaded with God for the child. And David fasted and went in and lay all night on the ground. So the elders of his house arose and went to him to raise him up from the ground. But he would not, nor did he eat food with them. Then on the seventh day it came to pass the child died.

And the servants of David were afraid to tell him that the child was dead. For they said indeed while the child was still alive we spoke to him, and he would not heed our voice. How can we tell him that the child is dead? He may do us some harm. When David saw that his servants were whispering, David perceived that the child was dead. Therefore, David said to his servants, 'Is the child dead?' And they said, 'He is dead.' David arose from the ground, washed and anointed himself, changed his clothes. And he went into the house of the Lord-- and notice-- and he worshipped. Then he went down to his own house. And when he requested they set food before him and he ate."

Now this is odd behavior in the servants' eyes. Here's a King who's not going to eat anything. Leave him alone. He's praying. And then all of a sudden, he finds out the child's dead. And he says, OK. And he goes and takes a shower, combs his hair, and eats. And this just seems a little awkward to his servants. It's really not awkward. David will tell you why.

"His servant said to him, 'What is this that you have done? You fasted and wept for the child while he was alive. But when the child is dead, you arose and ate food.' He said, 'While the child was still alive I fasted and wept, for I said, who can tell whether the Lord will be gracious to me that the child may live. But now he is dead. It's done. It's over. Why should I fast? Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him. But he shall not return to me.'"

You know, a tragedy in one's life reveals what that life is made out of. I've watched a lot of people go through deep valleys. I've gone through some deep valleys. And when I do, I can really look at who I am, what I'm made of, what I believe in, who I trust in, if my faith is indeed valid faith. Tragedy reveals a person.

I know you've heard C.S. Lewis' famous quote. C.S. Lewis said, "That God whispers to us in our pleasure, but he shouts to us in our pain." "Pain," he said, "is God's megaphone to rouse a deaf world." And that's true what C.S. said. But it's also true that my life whispers in pleasure, but my life shouts in pain. You know, what I say when things are great-- hallelujah, praise God, trust Him-- that amounts to about a whisper.

But when you see me going through the valley of the shadow of death and I still say my God is good. My God is true. He's trustworthy. Oh, there's some substance there. That's like a shout. That means more.

I spoke today and the other night to a family in our fellowship who lost their daughter in the war, just this week. She was one of the youngest helicopter pilots the Air Force had, Black Hawk helicopter. It went down in a rescue mission in Afghanistan. As I spoke to the family, oh, they're brokenhearted. It's tragic. There's been a lot of loss already in that family. But you know what. I heard, both at 1:30 in the morning the other night when they called and today when I talked to them, is that God is good. God has a purpose. We don't see it. But God is sovereign. And we trust Him. He knows more than we know. Very much like David, who worshipped.

Now here's David. Here is his character. What David said reveals how much David understands about his God. Because before the child dies, David prays to a God of mercy. After the child is dead, David worships a God of righteousness. God, you're merciful. You could spare the life of this child. And I pray that you would. He's trusting in God's mercy. When God answers him, no, which he sometimes does. By the way, no is an answer to prayer. Did you know that? God didn't answer my prayer. Yes, He did. He said no. That's an answer. It may not be the one you wanted. But He answered it.

And He has the prerogative according to David. You know how I know it was according to David? Because David worshiped, it said. You know who else did this? Who comes to mind? Job. Job lost everything, not one child, all of his kids and his health. And his wife who wasn't made out of the same substance he was, gave him some interesting advice. She said Job, I advise you thus, curse God and die, dude.

[LAUGHTER]

That's right out of the Bible, the dude isn't. I added that. But in the NSV it's there, the New Skip Version.

[LAUGHTER]

But you know what Job did, he said, "Naked I came into this world. Naked I shall leave. I came in with nothing. I'm going to leave with nothing, anyway. The Lord gives. The Lord takes away. Blessed be the name of the Lord." And then it says, "IN all of this, Job did not charge God with wrong, nor did he sin." He didn't say, why would you allow? He bowed before his sovereignty and he worshiped God, as does David.

And notice what David says, verse 23, "Can I bring him back again? I shall go to him. But he shall not return to me." This verse has been a comfort through the years to parents who have lost infants, who have died. Where's my child? Where's my baby? What has happened? The comfort is, I'm going to see my baby again. They can't come back, because that child is in the presence of God in the joy of the Lord. And honestly, he wouldn't want to come back.

When I die. And I will, unless the Lord comes very soon, because I'm getting older. When I die, if somebody ever dared, Oh, Lord, bring him back. If God answered that prayer, I'd be mad.

[LAUGHTER]

Imagine enjoying just for a moment the glories of heaven. Wow, this is cool! Look at that. I read about that. Ah, this feels great. I'm free. Then to come back to this. Ahh, man, I would haunt you forever, if you prayed for me to come back.

[LAUGHTER]

This child can't come back to me, but David said, I will go to him. I will be reunited. Jesus, one day when his disciples were trying to clear the crowds away and not allow children to get to Jesus, said, "Allow the little children to come unto to me for of such is the kingdom of heaven."

If you put all of those scriptures together and you form a theology. That theology would be thus, before a child reaches a level, an age of culpability, accountability-- that is before that child can either have saving faith, experience their own true faith in Christ, or before that child could ever have a chance to reject Christ-- if that child dies, instant heaven for that child. Instant heaven, that's God's mercy. That's God's instant regeneration to a soul because of His great mercy.

So then, the only hope of that parent ever being reunited with the child is for that parent to have a true faith in Christ. I want to be reunited with my child. You can be. You can be. Come to Christ. Receive Christ as your Savior, because your child is in the presence of God right now enjoying life forever more. And the hope of that reunion comes in your relationship to Christ.

Now we got another question this week on the internet. This one is from John. And John asks, according to these verses, please discuss the death of David's son and how his servants were afraid to discuss this with him. My sister's child just passed away this morning. And I, too, am at a loss at how to support her with my without my words sounding hollow. Please offer me some suggestions. And please pray for my sister, Katie. So if you're taking notes, write down her name, Katie. And pray for Katie and John, as well.

Well, John I would say, that when you approach your sister a rule of thumb that I've always followed at a time of crisis is this, walk softly around a broken heart. Walk softly around a broken heart. And number two, talk barely around a broken heart. The words that you say are important, John. But don't say lots of words. Let your words be few and poignant and comforting and scriptural. They're not going to remember 95% of what you say. So say less and mean more, John.

Walk softly around a broken heart. Talk barely around a broken heart. This is my own practice. My funeral messages are short. I don't go through Leviticus, five chapters. I make it short, to the point, filled with hope, filled with the promises of God.

And, John, your presence is important, too. You may not say much or have great profound words, but just being there, helping out, hugging, giving words of encouragement means a lot. You can be like the angel of the Lord just by being there and offering your support.

"Then David comforted Bathsheba," verse 24, "his wife, and went into her and lay with her. So she bore a son." This is their second attempt. She gets pregnant, again. She bore a son. "And he called his name, Solomon." Solomon means God is peace or God's peace. "And the Lord," I love this, "And the Lord loved him." Isn't that great? It's just a great thing to read. This child was born. You know, she was the wife he shouldn't have had. They bore the son together. He sinned with Bathsheba, but the Lord loved him.

You could put your name there. His name was Alice or John or Jeremy or George. The Lord loved him. A plan for Solomon from the beginning. "And He sent word by the hand of Nathan the prophet. So he called his name Jedidiah, because of the Lord." Loved of Yahweh or beloved of the Lord. So he had a couple of different names. You can call him Solomon or Jedidiah.

I've seen the name Jedidiah. I've seen parents, Christian parents, name their children. I met a Jedidiah. I never met a Solomon yet, though. Even though, it's the same guy. The Hebrew would be Shlomo, by the way. So there's a name for you.

[LAUGHTER]

You laugh. Go to Israel, A lot of kids are named Shlomo. Give me a break.

[LAUGHTER]

Let me sum up the rest of the chapter. Joab fought against Rabbah of the people of Ammon and took the royal city. Now this is what the writer is doing, he's taking us back a year now. Now he segues backwards. Chapter 11 begins this way, "The children of Israel in the spring of the year were fighting a battle against Rabbah. But David stayed home." So the author talks about the interruption in this battle, i.e. David's sin, cover up, lie, murder, what happens after that. But he now takes us back in time to finish up the story of the battle.

And this is what Joab did, interesting commander. Joab took the city, all except one part of the city. Gets on the phone with David, figuratively speaking, says, Dave, city's done. We have the victory. But you can come on out to the battlefield and take the last part of the city, just that last part, in battle. Thus, you, as the King, will get the credit for taking the city. You're the commander in chief. We'll give you the credit. And you'll get the spoils of war, which is exactly what happened. David comes in, finishes off the battle, takes this huge crown, goes home. And David gets the victory, that last part of the city.

Now, we have 11 minutes, think we can finish chapter 13? I bet we can. Come on. Are you up for it? OK, let's see if we can do it. At least we can cover a verse.

[LAUGHTER]

Now keep in mind what the theme is. The theme is David's triumphs, David's transgression, and David's troubles. And we're now starting-- and we'll go to the rest of the book seeing the consequences, the troubles of David.

This is tragic. This is his own family. Look at it. "After this it was so that Absalom, the son of David, had a lovely sister whose name was Tamar. And Amnon, the son of David, loved her. Amnon was so distressed over his sister, Tamar, that he became sick, for she was a virgin. And it was improper for Amnon to do anything to her."

Now we have a messy family situation. First of all we're introduced to Absalom in verse 1. Absalom was the third son of David from David's wife, Maacah. Do you remember her? Probably not. We just read about her. Maacah was the daughter of the King of Geshur. And we told you that often kings would take the daughters of other kingdoms to form alliances with them. Geshur was a Bedouin tribe, a nomadic kingdom, a nomadic ruler. Maacah must have been a knockout, a gorgeous girl. And I'll tell you why a little bit later on, because it has special application for those of you who are single.

But there's somebody else mentioned in this story, Tamar. That's Absalom sister by the same gal, Maacah. But then we're introduced to Amnon. Amnon is the son of David from his other wife, Ahinoam. See this guy had so many wives that it's just hard to keep track of his kids. So we have brother and sister and half brother to the half sister and half brother because of that. Got it? Does that make sense to you? Sort of? Kind of? A little bit? Good.

"Amnon was so distressed over sister Tamar, he became sick. For she was a virgin. It was improper for Amnon to do anything to her." By the way, Amnon was David's first born which means when David dies, who becomes King? Amnon. "But Amnon had a friend," if you can call him that. Because listen to it. "Amnon had a friend whose name was Jonadab the son of Shimeah, David's brother. Jonadab was a very crafty man." He was a tumbleweed, to go back to our analogy. He was not an oak tree, because his idea, his counsel, I know what to do if your love her, how about lying, deception, and rape? That's his suggestion. So he's a tumbleweed. He's a weed, man. He's a blotch.

"He said to him," verse 4, "why are you the King's son becoming thinner day after day?" Isn't that funny? Today that would be considered a compliment. Oh, you're looking thin. Thank you. Not then. You're looking so thin. Well, what do you mean? It wouldn't be a good thing, especially the King's son should look, you know, like he's eaten something, he's well taken care.

"And Amnon said to him, 'I love Tamar, my brother Absalom's sister.' So Jonadab said to him, 'Lie down in your bed. Pretend to be sick. When your Father comes to see you, say to him, please let my sister, Tamar, come and give me food and prepare the food in my sight that I may see it and eat it from her hand.' So Amnon laid down and pretended to be sick." She comes in. She cooks the food. He locks the door, sends everybody out.

Verse 11, "Now when she had brought them to him to eat, he took hold of her and said to her, 'Come, lie with me, my sister.' And she answered, 'No, my brother, do not force me, for no such thing should be done in Israel. Do not do this disgraceful thing. And I, where could I take my shame? As for you, you would be like one of the fools in Israel. Now therefore please speak to the King, for he will not withhold me from you.' However he would not hear her voice. And being stronger than she, he forced her and he raped her, or he lay with her."

Tamar is appealing to his reason. You cannot reason with lust. There is no reason behind lust. If you try to negotiate with lustful impulses of your flesh, it will never work. Lust and reason are opposites. They do not co-exist well together. Now her reasoning was impeccable. It's going to cause me shame. It's going to cause you shame. Your reputation is going to be ruined. And, by the way, the Levitical law allows for a half brother and half sister to be married. Talk to Dad. This could work out. This could be a relationship. But you have to follow the rules. He didn't listen to her. He forced her, lay with her.

Notice this, "And Amnon hated her exceedingly, so that the hatred with which he hated her was greater than the love with which he had loved her. And Amnon said to her, 'Arise, be gone.' She said to him, 'No, indeed. This evil of sending me away is worse than the other that you did to me.' But he would not listen to her. And he called the servant who attended him and said, 'Here, put this woman out, away from me, and bolt the door behind her.'"

Here he is saying, I'm lovesick. I can't stand to be without her. As soon as he has his lustful way with her, he hates her. Lust and hatred are kindred spirits. They're related. That is why you often read about men who rape women, murdering them afterwards. Driven by passionate lust, once the lust is satisfied, they turn in a different direction. There is this psychological phenomenon that happens. One of two things can happen. Number one, you're so ashamed of what you've done, you hate yourself so exceedingly, but then you project that hate on the nearest person, somebody else. And you act out those feelings on another person. In this case it was Tamar.

But there's something else, maybe even deeper. What is often called love, is not love at all, but you might call hate or disregard. You see gals, when you date a guy. And he says, "Oh, I love you so much. I can't wait till we're married to have sex, because I love you. I love you." What he really-- let me translate that for you. Let me translate that foreign language. What he means is I love myself, and I want you. I don't care about you. What I care about is me and having myself gratified by you. And if I can't have you, I can't wait. That's not love. Love and lust aren't related, necessarily.

"Love is patient," 1 Corinthians 13. Lust is impatient. Love suffers long and is kind. Lust can't wait and it's unkind. Love thinks no evil. Lust thinks lots of evil. It's the very opposite. That is why-- women, gals, listen carefully-- when you give in to his impulses, you are actually undermining the relationship. You are undermining the future of a stable relationship. By the way, that has been proved test after test, poll after poll, time and time again. People who live together before marriage-- I can prove it, by extensive investigation in this area-- their marriage is on much rockier ground than those who are committed to a love relationship till death do us part and wait until after the marriage to consummate the relationship. You can actually undermine it.

So she's saying, don't send me away. Now that we've done this deed, let's go through with the relationship. Puts her out. Puts her away. Bolt the door behind her.

Now we don't have enough time. I'd love to get through more, because there's lots of principles concerning relationships, marriage, dating, consequences. But we're going to have to wait because of time.

So often a woman will use sex to get love. Or you might say a woman will use lust to get love. And a man will use love to get lust. Let me explain. A woman because she wants the security of unconditional love, will compromise in the area of sex to give it to a guy so that he will love her. He will use love to get his lust satisfied. Oh, I love you. I'll always be here. We're one. Nothing can separate us. Wild stallions and all the stuff that he'd say. And then after it's done, it's like, see ya, wouldn't want to be ya. Foom, they're out of there. So relationship must be carefully tested.

How do I put it more bluntly than this. If the guy's pressuring you, pressuring you, we can't stay together, unless you have sex with me, then just dump him now. Dump him now.

[APPLAUSE]

Get rid of them. He's a creep. He's not worth his salt. And if you have trouble doing it, send him to me.

[LAUGHTER]

I'm here after every service, up here. I want to see you dude, eyeball to eyeball. Tell me, you can't wait for her. We better pray.

[LAUGHTER]

I don't want to get in the flesh.

Heavenly Father, we want to thank You that You are so pure and so holy and so righteous. And because of that You said, be holy, for I am holy. It's possible Lord, it's possible to be holy in an unholy world, to be righteous in a society that is unrighteous. I see it in people all the time who live for You in the midst of a world that doesn't, driven by the values on MTV, sitcoms, soap operas, songs, and all that Satan offers through the glitz and the glamor of the media. Thank You, Lord, for Your truth. And help us Lord to live a life pleasing to You. There is our solace. There is our hope.

We think back to David, a man who prayed to You before the tragedy occurred as a God of mercy. And then when the worst came to pass, worshiped You as a God of righteousness. There's a lot that's on our heart, Lord. There's a lot we're praying for and hoping for tonight and trusting in Your mercy for. And we leave it in Your hands safely, and ask Your will to be accomplished in our life. And we will say as Job said, though you slay me, yet I will trust. In Jesus' name, Amen.

Let's all stand.

Additional Messages in this Series

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2/5/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 1-3
2 Samuel 1-3
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2/12/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 3-6
2 Samuel 3-6
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2/19/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 7
2 Samuel 7
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2/26/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 8-10
2 Samuel 8-10
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3/5/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 11
2 Samuel 11
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3/12/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 12
2 Samuel 12
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4/2/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 13:19-14:33
2 Samuel 13:19-14:33
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4/9/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 15-17
2 Samuel 15-17
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4/23/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 18-19:2
2 Samuel 18-19:2
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4/30/2003
completed
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2 Samuel 19-20
2 Samuel 19-20
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5/21/2003
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2 Samuel 21-22
2 Samuel 21-22
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5/28/2003
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2 Samuel 23-24
2 Samuel 23-24
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There are 12 additional messages in this series.