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Proverbs 11:31-12:16

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5/11/1989
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Proverbs 11:31-12:16
Proverbs 11:31-12:16
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20 Proverbs - 1989

Proverbs is a book of wisdom, the thoughts of Israel's King Solomon on the righteous and godly way to live. Skip Heitzig examines its teachings of discernment, discipline, and prudence.

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--been about three weeks since we've been in Proverbs. Let's refresh our minds as to what Proverbs is all about. Let's kind of backtrack a little bit and then jump into chapter 11.

Your Old Testament and mine is divided into three major sections according to the Jewish standard. First of all, you have the first Five Books of Moses, which is called the law, the Torah, or we would call it the Pentateuch. And then there's the Prophets, which the Hebrews call the [? Nebiim. ?] And then there are the writings-- the [? Ketabeem. ?] The law, the Prophets, and the writings.

And in the writings, you could divide it into two sections-- the Psalms and wisdom literature. Wisdom literature is what we're dealing with in the Book of Proverbs. We've already covered Psalms. We've already covered 17 historical books.

And now we get into the poetical books of the Bible. The poetical books are Job, Psalms, Proverbs, Ecclesiastes, and Song of Solomon. It is written in a poetic form not because it's just somebody's idea, an inspired idea that they came up with one morning thinking, oh, this sounds really neat. I'll write that down. It is not inspired in that way.

Although they were simple common men who wrote the Bible, although it is in a poetic fashion, it is inspired by God. For Peter tells us that the prophets and the men of old who wrote the scripture, they spoke and they wrote as they were moved or carried along by the Holy Spirit.

But it is written in a beautiful poetic fashion. And when we talk about poetry in Hebrew terms, we are not speaking of rhythm, gait, or rhyme, like we have in our poetry. The ends of these stanzas do not rhyme, but there is a rhythm of thought. There are parallel thoughts, or there are contrasting thoughts.

And in the chapters we have been reading and will be reading tonight, there are contrasting thoughts. You will have a premise stated, and then you will have a contrast to that premise, or an antithesis. And so you'll have a contrast between the righteous and the wicked.

And basically, these chapters that we are reading tonight deal with the difference between a foolish person and a person who is wise, according to God's standard. That's what the whole message of chapters 10 through 15 are-- contrasts between the foolish person, who is synonymous with the ungodly person or the wicked person, and contrasting his or her life with the godly person, the wise. So the foolish and the wise are contrasted.

The poetical books, Proverbs notwithstanding, are experiential books. And so many people find solace in reading Psalms and Proverbs because they deal with human experience. The first 17 books are historical. They talk about the beginning of man, the beginning of the nation of Israel, the rise to power, the united kingdom and then the divided kingdom, going off into Babylonian captivity, the return from captivity.

There's ups and there's downs. There's hills and there's valleys. It's history. It leaves us with many beautiful lessons, but it's history. When we turn to the poetic books, like Job, Psalms, Proverbs, it's written from the human heart. It deals with the individual. The 17 historical books deal with the nations. These poetical books deal with the individual.

And that is why, probably, you are drawn to them quite often in your devotional life. That is probably why you have many of these verses underlined in yellow and in red, and you have writing next to them and you've memorized them, because you relate to them.

You relate to Job, who suffered and had people point the finger at him. You relate to a guy who wonders why good people suffer. You relate to David, who, at one moment, had extremely high emotional fervor, and in the next minute, he was downtrodden, downcast, ready to give up. You relate to that, and so do I. That's where the rubber meets the road. It's human experience.

You relate to the Proverbs, who condensed large sections of truth into distilled little epigrams or proverbs. It's a beautiful book of human experience. And the chapters that we're dealing with, they sort of-- well, they do. They defy outlining.

I cannot outline chapters 11, 12, and 13 for you, or 14 or 15 for that matter, because you have a lot of isolated sayings loosely connected to each other. It does not form a narrative. It does not form a beautiful poem that is connected in points. It does not form a historical section.

You have tiny little distilled nuggets of truth, like little truth bombs, that you have to meditate on, and you have to take them one at a time. And we won't take them all one at a time. We'll take several of them.

We'll skip over others, and we'll take some that we deem the Holy Spirit wants us to deal with. But it's sort of hard to develop a theme for the Book of Proverbs or this section, except be wise. That would probably be the theme.

As some of you have noticed already, Proverbs has a slant toward the youth. It is as if there is a person tapping a young person on the shoulder and saying, psst, here's the secret to a happy life. Here is the secret to wisdom.

Don't go through the school of hard knocks and go down the thorny path of rebellion against God. Do it this way from the beginning, and you'll be all right. It is warning a young person to heed the counsel of his father, his mother in the Lord and to those who teach and to the word of God and the precepts of God principally. How to live a happy life.

And so we get into verse 1. "A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight." You see, that's just a condensed body of truth in one tiny little epigram. In fact, proverb, the word we use, "proverb," comes from the Latin term, two words, "pro," which means four, and "verba," which means words, four words.

So a proverb is in place of a whole lot of explanation. Instead of developing a doctrinal theme and a thesis, it's just a condensed section of words that takes the place of a large explanation.

And so you read one proverb, and you will go, hmm. You find yourself doing that quite a bit, I bet. You read a proverb, and you go, hmm, yeah, hmm, rich, hmm, wow. Because the truth seeps in, and the more you meditate on it it goes deeper and deeper into the heart.

"A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight." You have a thesis, and you have an antithesis. You have a statement, and then you have a contrast to it. And it's complete in and of itself. The next proverb is not even connected.

But the first proverb of this chapter, we are dealing with the business world. We're dealing with business integrity. And those of you who are in the business financial world or, for that matter, in any form of the work force, this proverb is for you. It's speaking about integrity in business transactions.

And so it begins by saying, "A false balance is an abomination to the Lord." What is he talking about here? In the ancient days when you would buy and sell, you would have a scale. And you would balance what you want to buy or sell according to weights that the government set. Just sort of like we have the bureau of-- or the standards of weights and measurements, the Bureau of Weights and Measurements.

You have a certain weight that is an accurate, tested weight. They would take stones and they would grind them, and this is worth three shekels weight of silver or gold. And they would place it on the scale, and then you would offset it by the goods you'd like to purchase.

However, some of the people got wise. They figured, we can have two sets of weights. They can read the same weight, but they can be one a little heavier, one a little lighter. So when you want to sell something, you have one weight. When you want to buy something, you use a different weight.

That way you can get more when you want to sell-- or when you want to buy something, you can get more for yourself. And you can retain more when you want to sell and make the other person think he's getting a good deal when you're ripping them off.

And so some people figured out the system and would rip people off by having two sets of weights, and they would adjust their scales just so. And so that's what it's speaking about. "A false balance is an abomination to the Lord, but a just weight is his delight."

You might want to turn back to Deuteronomy, chapter 25 for just a moment and look at what God prescribed for his children concerning their business transactions from the very beginning. Deuteronomy 25, verse 13. It says, "You shall not have in your bag differing weights, a heavy and a light. You shall not have in your house differing measures, a large and a small.

You shall have a perfect and just weight, a perfect and just measure, that your days may be lengthened in the land which the Lord your God is giving to you. For all who do such things and all who behave unrighteously are an abomination to the Lord your God."

And that is why Amos denounced the merchants of Samaria. For ripping people off by having different-size stones in their business transactions, it was a differing weight. And so he's speaking about integrity in business.

I guess it would be equivalent to buying meat from a butcher, and he puts his thumb on the scale, like they used to do in the old days. And he'd weigh it down a little bit more, and he wouldn't sell you a full pound of beef.

Or how about elaborate packaging of goods to make you think when you look at it that you're getting a full bag of potato chips. And you open the baby up, and there's 3/4 air and 1/4 chips. You've been ripped off. Even though it has the weight on there, why package it that way? It makes you think you're going to get more.

Or when you buy bacon. Lenya bought bacon a couple months ago, and it looked like it's just packed full. It's lean. There's no fat. And what they did is they had cleverly placed the bacon strips next to each other to show just a little bit of the edge of the meat showing. So it looked like it was full of meat and no fat.

And when you peeled open the bag, it was almost all fat, almost all. They had taken just a few slivers and put it up front, and the rest was fat. It was a ripoff. And I guess this verse would fit perfectly-- "A false balance, it's an abomination to God." And so take it back to the store. "But a just weight is his delight."

God hates deceptive business practices. If you are a businessman and you are a salesman, don't charge too much. Don't push and push and push to charge too much and walk away thinking, oh, man, I really got-- I got a good deal. I ripped him off.

If you are an employer, deal fairly and squarely with your employees. If you're an employee, work hard for your employer, not with eye service, Paul says, but do it unto the Lord. Don't just push the broom when the boss walks through the room. Push the broom when he's at his desk away. Integrity in the workforce.

Verse 2, "When pride comes, then comes shame. But with the humble is wisdom." In the Book of Micah, chapter 6, there's a powerful statement that says, "He has shown you, o man, what is good; and what the Lord requires of you but to do justly, to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God."

Shakespeare, in one of his plays, wrote, one of the principal characters, "Flee pride, Cromwell, for by this did the angels fall." And that's very accurate. Satan fell, and a third of the angels in heaven, the Bible tells us, fell from the position they had with God because of pride. They did not humble themselves to serve the Lord. They wanted something more than God was dishing out to them.

And pride has been the greatest temptation from the beginning. Pride comes naturally to us. Humility does not. Humility is a learned, supernatural trait that God must work in us for it to be effective.

It is natural for us to be prideful. When you are corrected by a person, it is natural for you to act smart, to say, oh, I already know that. Pride comes naturally. Humility does not. "But when pride comes, then comes shame. But with the humble, there is wisdom."

We, as human beings, would love to appear greater than we really are. We have an image, some of us greater than others. We have a pretense. We have a mask. God knows what is behind that mask, but we probably all wear that mask from time to time.

We want a certain image portrayed of who we are. And when we come to church, we want a Christian image portrayed because we like the people around us to think that we pray. Every day we read the Bible. We are spiritual, and we're in tune with God. We have a hotline.

We'd like people to think we're that spiritual. And we shun taking the wall down and showing people who we really are lest they reject us once they know who we really are. We think if they see a flaw in me, they're going to push me away. And so we put on an image. There's nothing more than pride, nothing more than pride at the root. Humility is being known for who you are, warts and all.

However, there's a great liberty that comes when you tear the walls down. You will find that the opposite happens. People aren't repelled from you when they see the flaws. They're drawn to you, because they got them too.

And here's a person who's gut-level honest enough to say that he or she fails. They've shown me the warts. And that gives me the freedom to open up myself in front of you now. Just to be known for who you are.

And when we speak about humility, and the Bible speaks a lot about humility versus pride, we're not speaking about what has been termed "worm theology." Woe is me. I can't do anything. I'm good for nothing. And if anything good happens to leak out, it's not me. It's all God.

And so we debase our own selves to such a degree that that is prideful. That's like wearing a sign that says, I am more humble than you are. We go overboard to show ourselves humble, and we're proud that we're so humble. I'm so proud that I'm more humble than you are. It's a good feeling.

True humility is just being known for who you are. Hey, if you're a good tennis player and someone says, are you a good tennis player, say, I am. I'm great. That's honesty if you're good. Don't say, oh, no, I can't play. Because then you're going to get him on the court, and you're going to smear him. And he says, this guy lied to me. Should have humbled yourself. "With the humble, there's wisdom."

I love the sign that was over a clubhouse of a treehouse that some kids had in their backyard. When you're a little boy and you have a clubhouse, you have certain rules of who can enter. And it says, number one, no one act too big. Number two, no one act too small. Number three, everybody act medium. Probably good counsel. Be who you are. Act medium.

"The integrity of the upright will guide them. But the perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them." There's that word again, and you find it throughout the scripture a few different times-- "integrity." David used it quite a number of times. Integrity means simply being faithful, keeping your promise, doing what you say you do, not living under pretense.

And that is a word, that is a characteristic that needs to be bred back into the Christian community. It is the lack of integrity among the body of Christ that causes the world to point the finger.

It was lack of integrity in David's life that brought out the statement by Nathan. "David, by this sin you will cause all of the Gentiles to blaspheme the name of God." You're giving them an occasion to blaspheme. "Integrity"-- being faithful, living honestly, "--of the upright will guide them. Perversity of the unfaithful will destroy them."

Unfortunately, I think the worst cases of failure of integrity has been the church leaders, not the average church member, although God knows we all have problems, but church leaders. You know what has circulated in the world the last couple of years because of lack of integrity within the church.

A 2,300-acre theme park, lost because of lack of integrity. A man retreats to a prayer tower, saying that unless you give him $8 million, God's going to take him home, showing lack of integrity. And now he's come out with a new book, just came out a few weeks ago. The title of it, I believe, is How I Found Out Jesus Was Not Poor.

Guy called me up the other day, said, have you read this new book? I said no. He told me what it was about. He says, I don't think you could even read it. I think you'd throw up. I think-- I don't think you could actually read it, Skip, all the way through, if I know you correctly.

And he says he came with this new revelation, through twisting the scriptures, that Jesus was very affluent, very wealthy, very upper class, having to have treasures around him all the time, disperses money, and living poshly, and so forth. And because of that, Jesus as our example, that we should live very wealthy, kingdom-oriented kind of lives like Jesus lived. Integrity-- where is it?

And yet, it always must begin with us. Instead of looking on the TV and saying, OK, what's the next scam, it should always begin by the question, how can I personally preserve integrity? How can I simply live according to truth, be faithful, semper fidelis, always faithful"

Verse 4, "Riches do not profit in the day of wrath; but righteousness delivers from death. The righteousness of the blameless will direct his way; but the wicked will fall by his own wickedness. The righteousness of the upright will deliver them; but the unfaithful will be taken by their own lust. When a wicked man dies, his expectation will perish; and the hope of the unjust perishes."

Verses 4 through 6 deal with values and the sense that it's dealing with is riches, riches versus righteousness. Where are your values? Is your value in being rich, or is your value in being righteous? That's the contrast there.

Not that you can't have both. There have been many people who have been very wealthy and very righteous. But the examples are slim. Only because, as Timothy says, "It is a temptation." James, Timothy, and Peter all warned of riches being a snare and a temptation, and many people have fallen by the wayside because of them.

The point of this passage is, where are your sights, your value system? Are you bent on acquisition of financial wealth? Or is your aim in righteousness and pleasing God?

And so these verses really are-- it's the proverb for the yuppie. If we could just take every Christian young businessman aside and instill some of these principles in there. Live righteously. Don't work for riches. As it says, "Riches do not profit in the day of wrath; but righteousness, righteousness, delivers from death."

In chapter 13, turn over to chapter 13, verse 7, look at the contrast there again. "There is one who makes himself rich, yet he has nothing, and one who makes himself poor, yet has great riches." Now, what on earth is he speaking about? This is what he's speaking about.

Let me read to you a letter from Jesus Christ to the church at Smyrna, a poor persecuted church. "To the angel of the church in Smyrna write, "These things says the first, the last, who was dead, and who came to life. I know your works, your tribulation, your poverty, but you are rich."

Now, keep that in mind and contrast that with Jesus' letter to the church at Laodicea. "To the angel of the Church of the Laodiceans write, "These things says the amen, the faithful and true witness, the beginning of the creation of God.

I know your works, that you are neither cold nor hot. I could wish that you were cold or hot. So then because you are lukewarm and neither cold nor hot, I will spew you out of my mouth, because you say I am rich. I have become wealthy. I have need of nothing. And you do not know that you are wretched, miserable, poor, blind, and naked."

See the contrast? One church says, oh, we're so poor. Jesus says, you're rich. You've got really what it takes for real wealth. What you have is important. Now, to you, this church, you say, we're poor. We're wealthy. We have need of nothing.

Jesus says, you don't have what counts. You are poor, miserable, blind, naked. So the contrast between true riches, which is righteousness, and false riches, which is temporary fulfillment in the things of this world, the acquisition of wealth which doesn't last.

In 1 Timothy 6-- you can turn to it if you want to. If you don't want to, I'll read it to you-- there is a warning to the would-be rich. In 1 Timothy 6 in verse 6, it says, "Godliness with contentment is great gain. For we brought nothing into this world, and it is certain that we can carry nothing out."

You see where he's coming from? He's coming from the counsel of Job. Job said, I came into the world naked. I'm going to leave the world the same way. I can't take my gold watch with me. I can't take a trailer-full of goods and drag it behind my hearse with a U-Haul full of all my favorite things and take it into eternity.

"Having food and clothing with these we shall be content. But those who desire to be rich fall into temptation and a snare, and into many foolish and harmful lusts, which drown men in destruction and perdition."

Now, listen carefully to these words. "For the love of money is a root of all kinds of evil." That has been so twisted. I've heard it put this way. Perhaps you have-- money is the root of all evil. That's a lie. The enemy is the root of all evil, and pride really is the root.

The translation is, "the love of money." Notice what he said in the previous verse-- "Those who would be rich." It's the desire to get. "The love of money is a root of all kinds of evil, which some have strayed from the faith in their greediness and pierced themselves through with many sorrows." That's the warning.

And so back to Proverbs-- righteousness versus riches. Jesus said, "Seek first the kingdom of God, and all of the needful things for you to live physically and emotionally upon this earth will be given to you as well."

Verse 7 of Proverbs says, "When a wicked man dies, his expectation will perish; and the hope of the unjust perishes." You see, when a wicked man dies, everything he has ever put his hope in goes with him, because he has only lived for the temporary for the now. He hasn't thought about eternity. Everything is wrapped up in this world. When he leaves this world, that's it, curtains down. That's history. "The expectation perishes."

Verse 8, "The righteous is delivered from trouble, and it comes to the wicked instead. The hypocrite with his mouth destroys his neighbor. But through knowledge, the righteous will be delivered. When it goes well with the righteous, the city rejoices. And when the wicked perish, there is shouting. And by the blessing of the upright, the city is exalted. But it is overthrown by the mouth of the wicked."

All you have to do is go into some country where they have not had the gospel influence to see how this is true. You can get a graphic example by going to any of the villages around India that have never had the gospel penetrate the culture.

Watch what happens when Hinduism takes over, when people live according to their karma. So you're dying and starving to death. That's your karma. I can't help you because I will be messing with the will of the gods. So die. I'm rich. That's the will of God. I can't give you anything because I need to maintain my own will of God.

And then watch what happens to that very same culture when the gospel penetrates. And watch the city, as the righteous are exalted, the city come to life. I was in a village a few years ago. They had just recently received the gospel. Up to that time, it was totally run by the Hindus.

At first, when the Christian influence penetrated the city, there was incredible persecution. They didn't allow the Christians to drink out of the common well water within the city. They had to go outside the city and get water until they could dig their own well. That's why in India many of the churches have their wells inside the church building, so the Christians can drink water.

As time went on, however, the Hindu priest in that village was converted. Went into the temple and broke all of his idols. Loved to have had that on film. Now, although not the entire village is converted, many of them are, a good majority of them are. You see the standard of living being raised.

Why is the standard of living being raised? Because the heart has changed. And all of a sudden, I am now concerned about you. I want you to have what I have. I want to share my food with you. I want to make sure you have a shirt on your back and that you have some kind of hygiene, that you're cared for, because you're a temple of the Holy Spirit.

And human life is now precious, whereas before it was meaningless. And the standard of living of the culture rises because of the Christian influence. The city is exalted because of the righteous.

Verse 12. "He who is devoid of understanding despises his neighbor, but a man of understanding holds his peace. A tale bearer-- " or, as some translations say, a gossip-- "A tale bearer reveals secrets. But he who is of a faithful spirit conceals a matter."

Some of you World War II vets remember the old phrase, loose lips sink ships. As people were starting to leak out some of the confidential national secrets went across the lines, they knew where our ships were being placed in the oceans of the world. Loose lips sink ships. Loose lips sink lives also.

You all have known certain people who can't keep their mouths shut. Right? You know that you can't trust them with any kind of meaningful information that must be held in trust. It's a tale bearer who reveals secrets, but he who is of a faithful spirit or spirit of integrity knows how to conceal a matter.

Turn over to chapter 20 for just a minute. Look at Proverbs 20:19. We get the cure for that kind of a problem. Proverbs 20. Look down at verse 19. "He who goes about as a tale bearer reveals secrets. Therefore, do not associate with one who flatters with his lips."

If you have a person that you always tell things to and they can't keep a secret, just don't associate with them. Don't tell them those things anymore, and that will stop the problem right in the beginning. It's those who have a faithful spirit who conceal a matter.

Now look at the 14th verse, chapter 11. "Where there is no counsel, the people fall. But in the multitude of counselors, there is safety." I think this scripture gives us enough warning that before we make significant decisions, we should talk to people.

The reason being is because we have blind spots. Do we not? We think that certain decisions are the right. We have figured them out. We have gotten all of the angles that we can figure out. And according to us, that's the way to go. And besides, we want that real bad.

And sometimes we're afraid, if I ask somebody, they might tell me something different. And they're going to tell me not to do it. And it could be the truth, and I don't want to hear it, because I want that bad enough. That's not wisdom. That's stupidity. That's foolishness.

In the multitude of counselors there is safety, because there are always areas that we have not checked out. There are always the blind spots that we have not considered. And praise the Lord for godly counselors who will say, well, I don't know if you've considered this. I think you should wait and look at this angle a little bit more.

There's safety in the multitude of counselors. But where there is no counsel, the people will fall.

If you rely upon your feelings to make decisions, you are of all men most miserable. Because feelings can deceive you. It takes the counsel of others. However, warning-- in the multitude of counselors there is safety, but sometimes in the multitude of counselors there's a whole lot of confusion. Make sure your counselors are godly counsel.

Psalm 1. "Blessed is the man who does not walk in the counsel of the ungodly." Make sure the people that you talk to know the Lord, know the word, have searched out the principles of God's word, aren't just people who will tell you what you want to hear.

Because you ask people how to raise their children, for instance, you get 15 different philosophies. Ask people how to deal with your mate in a certain problem, you get 13 different ways to do it, many conflicting. Make sure that the counsel is godly counsel. Otherwise, you'll be confused.

Someone said there are two quick ways to disaster. Number one, don't take counsel from anyone. Number two, take counsel from everybody. An executive once said, 95% of what people tell me is crummy advice. But I have to listen to all of it to get 5% that's good.

It is often good to wait, to pray, to seek the Lord's counsel, and ask a variety of people that you know are in touch with God about the decision that you are going to make. Verse 15. "He who has surety for a stranger will suffer for it. But one who hates being surety is secure." We've covered that before.

"A gracious woman retains honor, but ruthless men retain riches. The merciful man does good for his own soul, but he who is cruel troubles his own flesh."

I was absolutely drawn in by that scripture. Read it carefully. The merciful man does good for his own soul. Isn't that interesting? Not for the other person who needs your mercy, but your own soul. But he who is cruel troubles his own flesh.

Remember Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount? As one of the characteristics of kingdom people said, blessed are the merciful, for they shall obtain mercy. Mercy is a characteristic of God. It is not a natural characteristic of man. A natural characteristic of man is, for the most part, revenge. Occasionally, justice. But usually revenge.

Mercy is not a natural characteristic except for ourselves. We want mercy for us. We want justice for everyone else. And if we get a hold of him, it's revenge.

That is why God wrote in the Old Testament, an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth. That was not condoning people to seek revenge. It was limiting revenge. Because human nature would have two eyes for one eye, two teeth for one teeth. You knocked a tooth out, I'll bust all of your top row out.

That's the human nature. God was limiting the revenge. Eye for eye, tooth for tooth, life for life. What is fair is fair. He was limiting it. It was justice.

Here it's mercy, which is not natural for man. Someone passes you tonight on the way home, and you think, where's a cop when you need him? Where's Dan Sanchez when you need him? But now Dan Sanchez pulls you over on the side of the road because you're going 10 miles over, and you beg for mercy.

And yet Jesus in the Sermon on the Mount, when he said, blessed are the merciful, was basically saying this-- if you're a part of my kingdom, you must show compassion. You must be willing to extend mercy and not always wave the flag of justice. Oh, yes, we must seek justice. But we must seek compassionately the mercy of the Lord in people's lives.

And one of the reasons, not the only reason, but one of the reasons is that it's good for your own soul and for your own flesh. What does He mean? I want you to look at an interesting portion of scripture in Matthew chapter 18. Matthew 18.

Simon Peter comes up to Jesus, and they're talking about dealing with a sinning brother and how to forgive. And Peter comes up to the Lord and, in a very gracious way, says, "Lord how often shall I-- " in verse 21-- " --how often shall my brother sin against me and I forgive him? Up to seven times."

Now Peter was patting himself on his back when he said that. The Jews required three times. Seven was gracious. It's the number of completeness. Very scriptural. "Jesus said to him, 'I don't say to you seven times, but up to 70 times 7."

Now listen to the story. "Therefore the Kingdom of Heaven is like a certain king wanted to settle accounts with his servants. And when he had begun to settle accounts, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents." That is a little over $10 million. In other words, it is an incredible amount that he probably could never pay in his lifetime.

"But as he was not able to pay, his master commanded that he be sold with his wife and children and all that he had, that the payment be made which was just, that was fair. The servant therefore fell down before him saying, 'Master, have patience with me, and I will pay you all.'" How? Right.

"And the master of the servant was moved with compassion." He was moved with compassion. "He released him and forgave him the debt." Just because there was repentance. He said, oh, please forgive me. Guy didn't fold his arms and say, nope. Now, I want to see some fruit before I'm going to say I forgive you.

Jesus said, if a man sins against you, forgive him. And if a man sins against you seven times in a day, and says to you, I repent-- he just says it-- you ought to forgive him.

Here's a guy who owed $10 million, and he put on an emotional, oh, please, please. That guy could've said, don't squalor at my feet. Pay me the debt. I'm selling you and your children. But he said, aw. He had compassion on him. And he forgave him the debt.

But that servant went out and found one of his fellow servants who owed him a little less than 20 bucks. And he laid hands on him. And he took him by the throat, saying, pay me what you owe. And so his fellow servant fell down at his feet and begged him, saying, have patience with me and I will pay you all. And he would not. But he went and he threw him into the prison till he should pay the debt.

Now, you can get the obvious story that Jesus is relaying to Peter. He's saying, Peter, there's two types of forgiveness in this world. One is vertical forgiveness. The other is horizontal forgiveness. God has forgiven you, the vertical forgiveness, an incredible debt you could never pay God which you owe him.

You have those in your sphere of influence, your life, who wrong you, Peter. They owe you debts. They have ruined trust. They have wronged you. They have taken from you. And Peter, for you not to forgive horizontally shows that perhaps you haven't tasted forgiveness vertically.

There's something else there. It says in verse 31, "So when the fellow servants saw what had been done they were very grieved. And they came and told their master all that had been done. And then the master after he called him said to him, 'You wicked servant. I forgave you all that debt because you begged me. Should you not also have had compassion on your fellow servant just as I had pity on you?' And his master was angry and delivered him to the torturers until he should pay all that was due him."

That is a very interesting word in the Greek language, "torture." Also means "to be tormented." It means pain, to experience pain. And it's the same word used of Lot, who experienced spiritual anguish. It says that Lot's righteous soul was vexed day after day, or tormented day after day, when he saw the corruption that was going on in Sodom and Gomorrah.

Now, a person who refuses to forgive and show compassion horizontally when he has been forgiven vertically will be handed over to the torturers, which I believe are his own thought processes, his own lack of peace of mind and peace of heart and anxiety.

And even problems physically, because when you have anxiety that causes depression, according to Charles Mayo of the Mayo Clinic, you can get because of that ulcers, heart problems, breathing problems, glandular problems, and nervous system problems. It can eat you up.

And I have met people who have refused to forgive after a divorce, have refused to forgive mom and dad because they did something when they were kids, refuse to forgive their kids for doing something years ago.

When somebody in the body of Christ sin holding on and refusing to forgive, and they themselves go on being tormented and tortured, they get eaten alive. It's not worth it. It will rip you off and destroy you to hold on and not forgive. You can't afford to not be merciful. It will destroy you.

Ever met a bitter person, a bitter old person who's held onto bitterness all their lives? And it's just like sour grapes to be around them. Everything that comes out of their mouth is just like lemon juice.

Like, man, miserable to be around this person. Complain, complain, complain. A bitter, bitter fountain. It's because they've been tormented. A lack of being able to forgive.

So that's interesting. "The merciful man does good for his own soul, but he who is cruel troubles his own flesh. The wicked man-- " verse 18-- "does deceptive work. But to him who sows righteousness will be a sure reward."

"As righteousness leads to life, so he who pursues evil pursues it to his own death. Those who are of a perverse heart are an abomination to the Lord. But such as are blameless in their ways are His delight. Though they join forces, the wicked will not go unpunished . But the posterity of the righteous will be delivered."

This is an interesting proverb. "As a ring of gold is in a swine's snout, so is a lovely woman who lacks discretion." I'm going to give you-- I have read that verse today in-- I've got a book that has 28 different translations of the Old Testament.

And I read them, but I wrote my own. The Skip Heitzig version, coming out next millennium. And I would transliterate that verse by saying, a woman with a pretty face and a beautiful figure who lacks the inner qualities of godliness is like a pig with designer jewelry.

[LAUGHTER]

[APPLAUSE]

What's the point that Solomon is making? Well, you know that pigs are unkosher, unclean meat. They carry diseases. They are corrupt ceremonially. They are corrupt physically when they did not have the kind of purification methods that we have today.

So to take your fine jewelry and deck your pig up in nice gold bracelets-- you know, the Mr. T starter kit-- and the big earrings and the hats, it's a waste. You've wasted good money and fine jewelry on a pig. It's still a pig. It's filthy inside, although you're trying to embellish it a little bit on the outside.

And you can see what the obvious bottom line point is, is that a person who spends all of her, or for that matter his, life on the outward physique and beauty of the body and neglects the inward, it's really a waste in eternal value.

As a ring of gold is in a swine's snout, so is a beautiful woman, a woman who's just gorgeous on the outside but lacks discretion, or taste, or character, as some translations say, on the inside.

Listen to 1 Peter, chapter 3. "Your beauty should not come from outward adornments such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes. Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit which has great worth in God's sight."

The scripture does not say that you should let yourself go physically. Doesn't say, oh, it's a sin to wear jewelry, it's a sin to wear makeup, it's a sin to look nice. No. Hey, do the best with what you got.

But to emphasize the outward and to neglect the inward, it's foolishness. It's a waste. All you do is end up as a pretty corpse. But when it comes to eternal value, character-building, things that last for eternity, it's of no value.

In the end of Proverbs, speaking of the virtuous woman, what a contrast she is to this description of this woman in this verse. It says-- Oh man, I can't recall when I need to. It says, "Beauty is vain." But before that, it says, oh, "Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain or empty. But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised." That's beautiful.

Women, place the emphasis on what's inside. Keep going to the spa. Keep buying the makeup. But don't neglect the spirit. In fact, if you need to take some time off of those things to develop the inward lady, do that. It's of eternal value.

"The desire of the righteous is only good, but the expectation of the wicked is wrath. There is one who scatters and yet increases more. There is one who withholds more than is right, but it leads to poverty. The generous soul will be made rich, and he who waters will also be watered himself."

All these verses form a context. "The people will curse him who withholds grain, but blessing will be upon the head of him who sells it. He who diligently seeks good finds favor, but trouble will come to him who seeks evil."

Being generous with what God has given you. Sowing the seed, dispersing it abroad, as God gives it to you. Jesus had a incredibly potent statement about giving. He said, give and it will be given to you. Pressed down, shaken together, running over shall men give to your bosom.

To the Philippians who are financially supporting Paul, Paul said, and my God shall supply all your need according to His riches and glory in Christ Jesus. It'll be given right back to you. You cannot out-give God. And so when you find a needy person, the message is, be generous. Be generous.

When it comes to our giving, we should be very liberal, very generous. There is the idea of a tenth, a tithe. We always talk about, well, honey, have you written the tithe check this week? Which is something my wife and I practice. We practice tithing. We give 10% of our income back to this church.

Now, that's just a minimum, though. We feel that that is just a minimum. That's the Old Testament. We live in the New Testament. The Bible says that we should give liberally.

And so there are other people in the church that we find out that have needs. There are other people in the mission field that we want to support that have needs above and beyond that.

And we find that God provides for us not only financially-- incredibly, in ways we couldn't imagine-- but in spiritual dividends He pays us back. We don't give so that we'll get. It happens to be a natural byproduct of doing it. It just works that way. I don't understand it, but it just works. It's the spiritual law. Give and it'll be given to you.

Shaken down. Shaken together. Pressed down. Running over. Can't out-give God. And so the Bible says, "God loves a cheerful giver. Every man should give as he purposes in his heart." 2 Corinthians.

God loves a hilarious giver. That's why we encourage here at Calvary Chapel giving as the Lord lays on your heart. We don't find out your income and send you a bill for a tenth of your income. We don't pound the pulpit and say, OK, now we need to raise a million dollars for the building fund.

We don't even take a formal offering. The offering that we take is through the agape boxes. It's between you and your Lord. If you're a Christian and as you mature in your Christian walk, you understand what giving is all about. It's a natural, normal part of any maturing Christian. We don't have to hammer you with it every week.

But it should be done generously, hilariously as unto the Lord. And we feel if you can't do it hilariously, keep your bucks. We don't want filthy lucre. If you're going to say, oh, gave the money, I could've bought a stereo, then come and see me next week. I'll give you a refund. Because we don't want that kind of money. It should be done as unto the Lord and for His glory.

"He who trusts in his riches will fall, but the righteous will flourish like foliage. He who troubles his own house will inherit the wind, and the fool will be a servant to the wise of heart. The fruit of the righteous is a tree of life, and he who wins souls is wise."

"If the righteous will be recompensed on the Earth, how much more the wicked and the sinner? Whoever loves instruction loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid." Don't even have to comment on that one. It's just so powerful.

The principle is pretty potent, though, isn't it? A man of wisdom or a woman of wisdom welcomes input, even if it's sometimes critical input, because they understand that they're not perfect. They understand they have blind spots. And they welcome the input so that they can change.

Just like a professional athlete who hires a coach to tell him what he's doing wrong so that he can improve, or an industry who hires an efficiency expert to show them how they can save money, so a godly person will welcome instruction or discipline. But he who hates reproof-- oh, don't tell me I'm doing something wrong-- that person is stupid, the Bible says. Glad the Bible said that.

"A good man obtains favor from the Lord, but a man of wicked devices He will condemn. A man is not established by wickedness, but the root of the righteous cannot be moved. An excellent wife is the crown of her husband." If that's the case, then I am a king. "But she who causes shame is like rottenness to or in his bones."

It has been said that behind every good man is a good woman. I believe that. It is amazing how a wife given by the Lord can encourage a husband and motivate that person to do and be fulfilled in what God has called him to do.

And yet this verse shows the opposite can also be true. It shows you what happens when there is a woman in a home in a marriage that is not supportive of what God has called a husband to do.

Now, husbands, please don't take this as an ability to go to your wife and just say, well, no, God told me to do this, so you got to submit. Because, you know, a lot of that's nonsense. A lot of times, that is a phrase we stick in to say, don't argue with me.

Make sure it's from the Lord. God will not hold a wife accountable for your dumb mistakes, only you. God will hold her accountable for submitting to the dumb mistakes, but you're accountable for doing it.

But an excellent wife, beautiful verse, is the crown, the embellishment, of her husband. If there is a husband and wife that work together as a team, it is incredible.

But when there is an unequal yoke-- and believe me, there's a lot of unequal yokes in Christian marriages. And I believe that if you're seeking Christian ministry, that your spouse has to seek that same ministry. And woe unto you if you start venturing out into some area of ministry and your wife is not behind it.

In fact, I've told my wife often, if we ever get to a point where the ministry is just too much for you to handle and we start getting unequally yoked, or I'm pushing it, I'm doing it, but you don't feel the same calling that I have, I'm going to quit. And you can check me on that, honey, any time that you see that happening.

Because it's not worth it. There needs to be an equal yoke for something to be effective. If God calls a husband into a ministry, he'll call a wife into it. And then she becomes the crown of her husband.

You might want to look at another couple of scriptures in regards to this one. Look over at chapter 19. Chapter 19, verse 13. Here's just some of the context of these things. 19:13. "A foolish son is the ruin of his father. And the contentions of a wife are a continual dripping."

Chapter 21, verse 9. "It is better to dwell in a corner of a housetop than in a house shared with a contentious woman." Look over at chapter 27. Verse 15. "A continual dripping on a very rainy day and a contentious woman are alike. Whoever restrains her, restrains the wind and grasps-- " Are you all right? You have something to confess? OK. " --and grasps oil with his right hand."

Men, before I offer any commentary on this-- in fact, I probably shouldn't even touch these with a 10-foot pole. The book of Proverbs has more to say about lazy husbands than it does to say about nagging wives. We just happen to be dealing with this context now. And so we'll deal with it. Keep coming. We'll get ours.

The idea here is a woman in a marriage who has a bent against her husband. She has lost respect in her husband. And because she has lost respect-- which is really the root cause of so many problems, a spouse loses respect for the other one-- that there is a continual bent, a nagging that's like Chinese water torture. Just drip, drip, drip. And it can absolutely ruin.

Now, that's the contrast. It can ruin or it can be the woman is the crown of her husband. And I really believe that. Every godly man I have ever been influenced by, behind him was a godly mother and/or a godly wife to be able to pull it off. That's the way God designed it, to be the crown.

And men, treat them like they're your crown. Polish your crown. Treat it with care. Love her like Christ loved the church. Spoil her. Embellish her with your love.

"The thoughts of the righteous are right. The counsels of the wicked are deceitful. The words of the wicked are lie in wait for blood, but the mouth of the upright will deliver them. The wicked are overthrown and are no more, but the house of the righteous will stand."

"A man will be commended according to his wisdom, but he who is of a perverse heart will be despised. Better is the one who is slighted but has a servant than he who honors himself but lacks bread."

Now, the New International Version runs circles around what I just read. Let me read it to you in the NIV. "Better to be a nobody and have a servant than to pretend to be somebody and have no food." That says it like it is.

I'll never forget one time I was in a city in Southern California, a very poverty stricken city. But everybody tries to dress like they have a million bucks. They want you to think that they're really something. It's just a thing that happens in certain places.

And it's a pretense. I want you to think I'm really somebody. But better to be a nobody and have a servant instead of trying to be somebody.

"A righteous man regards the life of his animal, but the tender mercies of the wicked are cruel. He who tills his land will be satisfied with bread, but he who follows frivolity is devoid of understanding."

Now listen to the NIV. It's much better. "He who works his land will have abundant food, but he who chases fantasies lacks judgment." All vision, no work.

Oh, I got big plans, man. I'm going to make this farm something really big and put a house over there and a garage over there. Yeah, right. When? You've been talking about that for 330 years. Just fantasies. Just dreams. Not doing anything about it.

Tills his land or works the land. The Hebrew work ethic is one of the highest in the world. It was one of the greatest virtues of a man to go out and work and sweat and earn a living. "The wicked covet the catch of evil men, but the root of the righteous yields fruit."

Look at verse 15. We won't cover the whole chapter tonight. "The way of a fool is right in his own eyes, but he who heeds counsel is wise. A fool's wrath is known at once, but a prudent man covers his shame."

In the book of Judges, there is a phrase that is repeated over and over again. It says that nation of Israel, everyone did right in his own eyes, which is a beautiful description of our society. That really sums up our Western culture. Everyone in our country does what is right in his own eyes.

And in the book of Judges, it says two things. Number one, there was no authority. There was no king, no central form of orders given. There was no authority. Everybody was independent, on their own. Although there was the law of Moses, it had been defiled. And number two, there were no absolutes. Everyone did what was right in his own eyes.

When you lose authority, you then lose an absolute system of values. And you become an existentialist, which is what we have in our country today. Man is the measure of himself. That's how we think.

I begin with myself and I build outward from myself. And my only standard of what is right and wrong is what I determine, so that if I'm doing something that you don't like, and you say, hey, that's wrong, I say, well, that might be wrong for you, man, but it's right for me. Oh, Christianity might be good for you, but this is good for me.

Everybody does what is right in his own eyes. There is no system of absolutes. That is why you get hassled when you try to preach the gospel, because you are imposing an absolute value system into a world that knows none. And they hammer you for it. There is no system of absolutes. But the way of a fool is right in his own eyes. No accountability. He who heeds counsel is wise.

Verses 17 through 22 speak about the tongue. But it's over time, so we'll quit tonight. Finish chapter 12 and 13 for next week. Let's pray.

Heavenly Father, because we know you and because we love you, we keep your commandments. Those were the words of Jesus. We have held tonight in your hands, Dear Lord, a book filled with the inspiration of your Holy Spirit, ways to live a wise, godly life.

You have reached graciously into every sphere of life, Lord-- the business life, husband and wives, children and parents, on and on. You've reached into those arenas, Lord, and you've given us precepts on how to make those things flourish.

And now, Lord, as you told Joshua, may we have the strength to obey you and to keep your commands. Fill us with your Holy Spirit. Send us out with willing hearts that has yielded vessels to you, that we might, as Paul says, not yield ourselves as members of unrighteousness to sin, but yield our parts of our bodies as tools for righteousness.

Lord, help us this week as we apply these things to overcome strongholds of the enemy, areas of sin of the flesh in our own lives. And we thank you, Lord, that in the midst of a floundering society, with no absolutes and with absolutely no authority, where everyone is doing what is right in his own eyes and not knowing what's up, thank you, Lord, that we have a solid rock that never changes-- Jesus, who is the same yesterday, today, and forever. What a solid foundation.

And how we praise you and thank you, not only for a value system, but for a valuable person and Savior who has saved us from sin and made us members of your Kingdom. It's in His name we pray. Amen.

Additional Messages in this Series

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2/26/1989
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Proverbs 1
Proverbs 1
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3/16/1989
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Proverbs 2-3
Proverbs 2-3
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3/23/1989
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Proverbs 4
Proverbs 4
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3/30/1989
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Proverbs 5-7
Proverbs 5-7
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4/6/1989
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Proverbs 7-8
Proverbs 7-8
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4/13/1989
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Proverbs 9-10
Proverbs 9-10
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5/18/1989
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Proverbs 12:17-14:35
Proverbs 12:17-14:35
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5/25/1989
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Proverbs 15-18
Proverbs 15-18
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6/1/1989
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Proverbs 19-22
Proverbs 19-22
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6/8/1989
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Proverbs 23-25
Proverbs 23-25
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6/15/1989
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Proverbs 26-29
Proverbs 26-29
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6/29/1989
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Proverbs 30-31
Proverbs 30-31
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There are 12 additional messages in this series.
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