Skip HeitzigSkip Heitzig

Skip's Teachings > Keep Calm and Marry On > Friends with Benefits

Message:

SHORT URL: http://SkipHeitzig.com/2224 Copy to Clipboard
BUY: Buy CD

Friends with Benefits - Matthew 22:37-40

Taught on | Topic: Dating | Keywords: Marriage, dating, respect, pursuit, courting

No matter how you view dating, finding the right mate can be tricky. What should you be looking for in a potential spouse? How can you know that this is God's best for you? Though the Bible is silent about dating per se, it says a lot about how we are to treat one another and what our priorities ought to be. These principles play a major factor in the success of dating relationships—and marriages. Let's open our Bibles to Matthew 22:37-40 for guidance in playing the sometimes challenging dating game.

Date Title   WatchListenNotes Share SaveBuy
7/8/2012
completed
resume  
Friends with Benefits
Matthew 22:37-40
Nate Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
No matter how you view dating, finding the right mate can be tricky. What should you be looking for in a potential spouse? How can you know that this is God's best for you? Though the Bible is silent about dating per se, it says a lot about how we are to treat one another and what our priorities ought to be. These principles play a major factor in the success of dating relationships—and marriages. Let's open our Bibles to Matthew 22:37-40 for guidance in playing the sometimes challenging dating game.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD

Series Description

Show expand

Keep Calm and Marry On

Keep Calm and Marry On

A Christian marriage is intended to portray Christ and His church to the world. But how do we ensure that our marriages live up to God's standards? God's Word contains what we need not only to flourish, but to overcome the emotional, societal, and spiritual attacks we face in our marriages. In this series, Pastor Skip Heitzig covers various scriptural texts to give us the biblical view on marriage. From dating to dealing with in-laws; from anger management to managing your finances; from conflict resolution to delightful sexual relations, this powerful series will provide the tools you need to strengthen your home and relationships.

FREE - Download Entire Series (MP3) (Help) | Buy series | Buy audiobook

Outline

    Open as Word Doc Open as Word Doc    Copy Copy to Clipboard    Print icon    Hide contract

  1. Be a God Digger, Not a Gold Digger

  2. Act Like Royalty, Not Rap Stars

  3. You’ve Got Game…Use It!

Detailed Notes

    Open as Word Doc Open as Word Doc    Copy Copy to Clipboard    Print icon    Hide contract

  1. Introduction
    1. Male/Female relationships
      1. Relevant in all eras and walks of life
      2. Dating, courting, going steady
      3. "I don't understand the whole dating thing."–Britney Spears
    2. Why so many people date the wrong way
      1. Cues from media and Hollywood
        1. "I don't know of any of us who are in relationships that are totally honest—it just doesn't exist." –Richard Gere
        2. "I don't have a girlfriend. But I do know a woman who'd be mad at me for saying that." –Mitch Hedberg
        3. "I have a lot of boyfriends, I want you to write that. Every country I visit, I have a different boyfriend. And I kiss them all." –Anna Kournikova
        4. "There's only two people in your life you should lie to...the police and your girlfriend." –Jack Nicholson
      2. Television examples
        1. Not exclusive; okay to date or hook up with as many people as you want; i.e., The Bachelor
        2. Game; not real
        3. If you are lucky, you marry rich and then you're set; i.e., The Choice, Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?
        4. Perfect date includes: a private chef, hot tub, lots of wine, maybe getting lucky
      3. Sounds crude and wrong because it is
      4. Society looks at what can please instantly rather than ultimately
    3. Statistics on dating in America
      1. 54 million single people
      2. 40 million have tried online dating
      3. 53% have dated more than one person simultaneously
      4. On average, couples wait 6-8 dates before entering an exclusive relationship
      5. After 12-14 dates, couples trade house keys
    4. Worldly Views
      1. Only benefit: sex
      2. Tiny marriages because of sexual intimacy
      3. High divorce rate: okay to give something meant only for marriage, when bored, or find someone better, get out
      4. How far is too far? (Asked on Shock Therapy Live)
        1. Won't answer; walk up to edge, look over, and probably sin anyway
        2. Rather ask: How holy is too holy?
        3. How pure is too pure?
    5. Christian views
      1. Seek the highest God has for us; not the lowest
      2. Look for the best person God has for us
      3. Benefits of a godly relationship outweigh the benefits of a worldly one
      4. Possible to be friends with benefits—not the kind of benefits the world offers
    6. Biblical culture
      1. Not American lens
      2. Arranged marriages
      3. Bible doesn't directly tell us how to date
      4. Bible gives life principles to apply to dating
      5. Bible helps us view relationships the way they are supposed to be
  2. Be a God Digger, Not a Gold Digger
    1. Love the Lord God with all your heart, soul, and mind
      1. Greatest commandment
      2. Applies to every area of life—including dating
    2. Foundation of relationship
      1. Do you and do they adore God?
        1. "Do not be unequally yoked together with unbelievers." (2 Corinthians 6:14)
        2. Are they converted?
        3. What do I want? What does God want? Are they the same?
    3. People tend to drop standards
      1. Over time
      2. Gradual decisions
      3. We shouldn’t be lowering standards
      4. We shouldn't be settling for the worst
      5. "We shouldn't be driving the Pinto when God has the Ferrari parked outside."
        1. Ferrari on the inside, not the outside
        2. Doesn't matter if the car looks great; does it run?
        3. Society says sexual attraction and money are most important
          1. Women who post photos on dating sites receive twice as many emails as those who don't
          2. Men who reported income above $250,000 received 156% more email than those who reported income of $50,000
          3. 4M Club (MultiMillionaire MatchMaking Club
            1. Seattle, Washington
            2. Women pay $250 to be listed as potential partners for single millionaires
    4. Don't let money or looks be most important: Let it be their relationship with God
      1. Do they have a deep sincere love for Jesus Christ?
      2. Are you both believers? What do you believe?
        1. 76.5% of Americans call themselves Christians
        2. We are called to be born again, changed
      3. Are they real?
        1. Do they adore God?
        2. Do they respect you?
        3. Do they honor boundaries?
        4. Do they respect convictions?
        5. Adore God with their lips and their lives?
        6. Don't love things of darkness, but love the light
        7. Not perfect, but growing and changing
        8. Evidence of belief in Jesus
    5. Nothing wrong with physical attraction; cannot base choice on infatuation
    6. Average person has five "real loves" between 9th grade and second year of college
    7. What separates feeling from true love?
      1. True love stands the test of time
      2. True love stands the test of patience
      3. Love is a constant devotion, not a passing emotion
    8. Guidelines
      1. Shouldn't date unless they are marriage material
      2. To date without the possibility of marriage is set up for falling into sin
      3. Shouldn't date unless marriage is in sight
      4. Whoever you date should be a believer who has evidence of God's work in their life and who adores God
    9. Love others
      1. Man reason relationships fail: selfishness, pride
      2. The more selfless you are the more successful your relationship will be
  3. Act Like Royalty, Not Rap Stars
    1. Respect
      1. "I have compared you, my love, to my filly among Pharaoh's chariots." (Song of Solomon 1:9)
        1. Do they respect you?
        2. Do they respect the Bible's and your boundaries?
        3. Filly: horse
          1. More important than his most prized possession
          2. Fastest horse in the stable
      2. Worth protecting
      3. Worth pursuing
    2. Men
      1. Leaders
      2. Called to be the initiator
      3. Don't lead girls on
      4. Don't toy with their emotions
      5. Make sure she knows how much you value and respect her
      6. Make her feel cherished
    3. Ladies
      1. Don't be a player-dater
      2. Don't date sleazebags
    4. Does my boyfriend/girlfriend feel as loved and valued as my hobby, possession, etc.
    5. Show respect by asking what parents think about the relationship
      1. If parents don't know, you are a jerk
      2. If they won't like you, change
      3. Girls deserve a gentleman—they are made in the image of God
      4. Don't begin a relationship being sneaky and disrespectful
        1. If you are, you don't deserve a relationship
        2. If it starts in sin, it won't get better
      5. "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. 'Honor your father and mother,'" (Ephesians 6:1-2)
      6. Parents help us see things we don't always see
        1. May see something dangerous
        2. Give us insight and advice
        3. Keep you accountable
      7. Whoever you date or marry you also date/marry the family
      8. If your age makes this weird, ask pastors
      9. Prayer and counseling before the relationship starts
      10. Instruction to parents
        1. Be the kind of people your kids are comfortable bringing their dates around
        2. Don't view dating as a forbidden word
  4. You've Got Game...Use It!
    1. Pursue one another
      1. "He brought me to the banqueting house, And his banner over me was love." (Song of Solomon 2:4)
      2. What to do once you've caught the fish
        1. Applies to dating, marriage, engagement
        2. When pursuing send flowers, write poems, etc.—don't let that stop
      3. Guys and girls want to be pursued, even after they've been won over
    2. Takes time for a relationship to grow: Spend time together
    3. "Behold, you are fair, my love! Behold, you are fair! You have dove's eyes." (Song of Solomon 1:15)
      1. Doves have tunnel vision
      2. See nothing but what is in front of them
    4. Commitment
      1. Adoration for God
      2. Respect for one another
      3. Time spent together
      4. Must be cultivated
    5. "You are handsome, my beloved! Yes, pleasant!" (Song of Solomon 1:16)
      1. Quality time with each other and with God
      2. Guys want their woman to think they are cool
        1. Don't care what others think
        2. Affirm husbands/boyfriends
      3. Girls want to know they are beautiful
        1. Nothing else compares
        2. Nothing comes between you
      4. Constant affirmation
    6. Are you friendly? Are you kind?
    7. Close friends with Godly benefits
      1. Not sexual intimacy, but spiritual intimacy
      2. Not monetary value, but moral value
    8. Don't be transparent
    9. Don't be dependant
    10. Seek love in Christ; He desires a relationship with you

Publications referenced: The Choice; Who Wants to Marry a Multi-Millionaire?; Shock Therapy Live
Figures referenced: Britney Spears; Richard Gere; Mitch Hedberg; Anna Kournikova; Jack Nicholson
Cross references: Song of Solomon 1:9; Song of Solomon 1:15; Song of Solomon 1:16; Song of Solomon 2:4; 2 Corinthians 6:14; Ephesians 6:1-2

Transcript

Open as Word Doc Open as Word Doc    Copy Copy to Clipboard    Print icon    Show expand

Lord, we come before You right now and as we do, we prepare to open Your word and we know that You desire to meet with us here in this place. You want to speak to us. You want to challenges us. You want to change us. Lord, we know that Your word is living, that it is relevant and is real, and so Lord, we ask You to speak to us here in this place right know. In Your name we pray, Amen.

"Dating," what a big topic. One thing that I found is relevant to everyone in all eras and in all walks of life is the idea of male and female relationships, and that's what this series has been all about, male and female relationships. Whatever you want to call it, some people call it dating, the new term that's come back is courting. People say courting is better than dating. Back in the '50s, it's said "We're going steady." Whatever you want to call it, the idea is the same.

In this morning, we're going to look at this topic in a message titled "Friends with Benefits" and I know we hear that, and we think of something that we shouldn't. But tonight, we're going to see -- actually today, we're going to see what Friends with Benefits is really all about.

Britney Spears recently said this. "I don't understand the whole dating thing." Who here has ever felt like that? "I don't understand the whole dating thing." What is dating all about? What is it supposed to be? What does a healthy dating relationship look like? A really quick question. Who in here has ever been involved in a bad relationship before? Okay, like, come on. Be honest. I think all of those hands should be up. We've all been involved in a bad relationship, a relationship that just seems like a train wreck that it never gets better. It seems like you did everything bad that you could and they did everything bad that they could, and it just always ends in heartache.

We've all been involved in bad relationships. When I was preparing this message, I asked myself, "Why are there so many people that date the wrong way? Why do so many people date bad?" And I realized the reason that most people date the wrong way is because we as a society get our cues from the media. We get our dating lessons from Hollywood, and what do the media say about dating? What does Hollywood say about relationships?

Well, I found a few quotes from some celebrities. Richard Gere says, "I don't know if any of us who are in relationships are totally honest, it just doesn't exist." Mitch Hedberg said, "I don't have a girlfriend but I do know a woman who'd be very mad at me for saying that." Uh-oh Mitch. Anna Kournikova says, "I have lots of boyfriends. I want you to write that. Every country I visit, I have a different boyfriend and I kiss them all." Jack Nicholson said, "There are only two people in your life you should lie to, the police and your girlfriend."

I don't think the celebrities have it right. So I looked at television and I wanted to see what television says about dating. So I looked at some of the most popular television dating shows to see what they say dating is all about and I came to this.

Number one, dating is not exclusive. It's okay to date and hook up with as many people as you want. Thank The Bachelor for that one. Number two, dating is simply a game. It's not real. Number three, if you get lucky, you might date and marry someone rich and then your life is set. There is a new game show, a dating game show called "The Choice" where celebrities, rich celebrities, pick girls who come out and dance and try to make themselves look good so they can get a date with a celebrity.

There was a show awhile back called "Who Wants to Marry a Multimillionaire?" Seriously. Then finally, the perfect date is comprised of a private chef, a hot tub and lots of wine and maybe getting lucky at the end of the night. That's what society says about dating. That's what Hollywood says about dating and I know it sounds crude. I know it sounds wrong and that's because it is. That's not the way God intended relationships to be. That is not the way we're supposed to date. See, society looks at what can please instantly rather than ultimately.

Here's a few statistics to show you where society is at with dating today. There are 54 million single people in the United States today. Forty million single people in the U.S. have tried online dating. All right, be honest. Who in here has or know someone who's tried online dating before? Okay. I think there are probably more people who are a little ashamed, but that's okay. I actually have friends who've met their spouse through online dating, and I have friends who've met their boyfriend or girlfriend through Facebook. 53% of people say that they have dated more than one person simultaneously. Players, man. On average, couples wait between six to eight dates before they enter into an exclusive relationship, and on average, it takes between 12 to 14 dates before couples will trade house keys.

I'll ask you a question. Is there a better way? Is there a better method to finding a spouse than that? Is there a better way to look for relationships than what society and Hollywood is forcing down our throats? See, for the world, the only benefit of friends with benefits is sex, and a huge problem with dating today is that we view dating like these tiny, little marriages. What happens is you become so invested, you become so tied to a person because of sexual intimacy that you create this mini marriage, which over time will split up and cause a mini divorce, complete with Facebook unfriending and toaster ovens being thrown at each other. It gets dirty.

I've seen couples that have come into my office that aren't married, that were dating, and they hate each other. They just can't stand each other. They'll come in and they'll cry. I'll get a girl that come into my office or a guy, and they're just talking about this horrible relationship. I'm always asking the question, "How long were you married for?" "We're not married." "Are you engaged?" "Uh-uh. We're dating." "How long, like, five years?" "Three weeks." "Are you serious? Come on."

No wonder the divorce rate is so high today. We're teaching ourselves that it's okay to give something only for marriage and then once we're bored and we find something better, that we can get out of there. This is the way that human nature is. I get people that come to me and they say, "Nate, will you do a message on how far is too far?" I do a talk show on Sunday nights on Static Radio called Shock Therapy Live and I have people that call in and say, "Hey, is this okay to do with my boyfriend?" or girlfriend. "How far is too far to go with my boyfriend?" or girlfriend. "At what point does it become sin?" Will you answer that for me? My answer is always no. I refuse to do that because you're asking me to draw you a line that you can walk up to and look over the edge.

Rather than asking "How far can I go before I'm sinning?" because chances are, whatever that marker is, it's probably sin. Ask yourself, "How holy is too holy?" or how about, "How pure is too pure?" Because as children of God, we should be seeking the highest that God has for us, not the lowest. We shouldn't be walking around looking for the worst Christian possible that we can get away with the most. We should be looking for the best, the best person that God desires for our lives.

So the question today is, "What does the Bible say about dating?" We're going to see that if you do what the Bible says, the benefits of a godly relationship far outweigh the benefits of a worldly one. We're going to see that it's possible to have friends with benefits, but not the kind of benefits that the world offers. But I want to point out as we look at this topic, we have to be careful because we want to look at it in light of biblical culture. See, we have a tendency to look at the Bible through an American lens, as though Jesus wore red, white and blue robes. We have to keep in mind that this was written to an audience that is far different than ours today. What I mean by that is people sometimes like to get dogmatic about what the Bible says.

Now, I'm a firm believer that we should understand what the Bible says, but do you want to know what the Bible says about dating? Well, it says that most marriages in Jesus' time were arranged. That means that you didn't get to choose who you'll marry. They told you, "Hey, you're marrying him, get used to it." So, that's what the Bible says about dating, so when we look at this topic, we have to take the cultural differences and view them in our differences today.

When I was younger, I absolutely hated the idea of arranged marriage. It was the worst thing possible. The fact that my parents could choose the person that I'm with? No way! Let me tell you. I got a couple of kids now and this isn't such a bad idea anymore. As a matter of fact, this whole arranged marriage is a very viable option for me going into the future. Find a family that's got a good-looking kid, exchange a few goats here and there, and there you go. We're all set.

But I pray that God prepares me. I pray everyday that God will prepare me for the day that I meet my daughter's first boyfriend. Actually, let me rephrase that. I pray that God will prepare my daughter's first boyfriend for the day that he meets me. That will be a day of reckoning. Let me tell you what. Let's just say that since Kaydence was born, the idea of nunneries and AR15 is very appealing to me. But here is the thing, nowhere in the Bible does it say this is how thou shalt date. There's not a chapter in the Bible that's the dating chapter where we can go and find all the credentials for the perfect date.

That's why when you go to the bookstore, there are so many Christian books on this subject, on this subject of dating. Let me tell you. Some of them can be really helpful. Some of them are good, but when it comes down to it, it always come back to this book, to the Bible, because although it might not give us a chapter of guidelines for dating, it gives us some very good life application principles that when applied to dating or any other area of life, it can change our perspective.

So this morning, whether you have kids, whether you're married, you're dating or you're single, this can help you. This can help you view relationships the way that they're supposed to be. So turn to Matthew 22:37, and what I'm going to do today is I'm going to give you three principles based on these verses as well as the Song of Solomon for dating and relationships. Matthew 22:37, let's turn there together and read what the Lord has for us this morning. Verse 37 says, "Jesus said to him, 'You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.'" This is the first and great commandment and the second is, "You shall love your neighbor as yourself."

Here we see our first point, and that is be a God digger, not a gold digger. Now this is the greatest commandment and this applies to every area of our lives, including dating. The commandment is, "You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul and with all you mind." Now this story has happened when Jesus was approached by somebody who asked him the greatest commandment hoping to trick him, hoping to tie him down, and Jesus responds very quickly that the greatest commandment is to love God.

Now again, this commandment applies to every area of life, including dating. This should be your first question asked, period. This is the foundation and should be asked and answered before you even consider dating anyone, courting anyone. That question is, "Do you and do they adore God?" 2 Corinthians 6:14 says, "Do not be yoked together with unbelievers." The question is, "Are they converted? Do they adore God?" Ultimately ask this question, "What do I want in a relationship? What does God want in my relationships? Are they the same?"

Now this is a question that we ask in everything in life. "What do I want? What does God want? Are they the same?" Whether it's business dealings, whether it's transactions or where we go, what God calls us to in our lives, or who we're with. What do I want? What does God want? Are they the same?"

A sad thing that I've seen, whether you're a high school student, a college student or you're a grown up, that is that people have the tendency to drop their standards, to lower their standards. When we started out, we have a great idea of who it is that God has called us to be with. They're perfect. They're a Christian person. They love God. They want a family. They want all the same things we do, and our standards starts out way up here. Then for whatever reason, maybe we haven't dated in a while, it drops a little bit lower and then we see that smoking hot guy or girl who isn't necessarily walking with God, and it drops just a bit lower.

Then that guy or girl asks us to do something we know we're not supposed to do, but they say that they love us, so we drop it a bit lower. Then what ends up happening over a period of time is we end up all the way down here, looking up at the top and saying, "How did I get myself in this situation?" Let me tell you. It didn't happen immediately. It happened over time. It happened with slow, gradual decisions to lower your standards. No one just wakes up one morning walking with God, loving Jesus, going to church, knowing the Bible, being involved in the ministry, and they don't say, "Do you know what? I want to get pregnant today. I really want some STDs." It doesn't happen. It doesn't happen in dating relationships, just as the way it doesn't happen with drugs. No one wakes up and says, "Do you know what? I've never done drug, but it's time to OD." It doesn't happen.

It's slow, gradual decisions that cause us to lower our standards. That's not the way it should be, is it? We shouldn't be lowering our standards. We shouldn't be settling for the worst that God has for us. We shouldn't be driving the pinto when God has parked out front the Ferrari. Ladies, I'm not talking about the tall, dark and handsome battalion, stallion kind of Ferrari, I'm talking about the Ferrari on the inside, not the outside.

I'm talking about the motor. See, it doesn't matter if a car looks great in the outside. The question is, "Does it run?" Sadly, some people, because of society, a lack of discernment, are left dating someone who's a Ferrari on the outside and a pinto on the inside. That's because society tells us the most important things to look for are sexual attraction and money. The man, if they're loaded and they got a nutty(ph) body then it's good to go. That's what we're told. That's not right. That is not what we should be basing our decisions for dating on. We shouldn't be looking at that. We shouldn't be focusing on those external things. There's got to be something more. There's got to be something on the inside.

I read some really startling things online when I was preparing for this. In one that I read, it says, "Women who post a photo on internet dating sites receive twice as many email messages as women who don't and the same study found that men who reported incomes higher than $250,000 received 156% more email than those with $50,000." Money and looks. That's what society wants.

4M Multimillionaire Matchmaking Club based in Seattle, Washington, I kid you not, has clients that are men who have made millions of dollars but are still single and women can pay $250 to be listed as potential partners for these millionaires. Wow! What have we come to in America today? Don't be a gold digger, be a God digger. Don't let money, don't let looks, don't let possessions be the number one thing that you're looking for in your spouse, let it be their relationship with God. Let it be a deep, sincere love for Jesus Christ. Let them be converted.

Your first question is, "Do they adore God?" The first question we ask a couple seeking marriage here at Calvary is, "Are you both believers in Jesus?" If they answer yes, the second question we ask is, "What do you believe about Jesus?" Because a lot of people say they're Christians. Do you know that the majority of Americans believe themselves to be Christians? As a matter of fact, 76.5% of Americans claim to be Christians. The Bible doesn't say we should claim to be Christians. The Bible says we should be converted, that we're to be born again, which means changed, and not just "Are they converted?" but here is a big one, "Are they real? Are they real?"

Now guys, sorry to call you out on this, but unfortunately, this applies mostly to us, to men. Are we really stoked about God or is that just a mask that we put on to be accepted? It's sad. I've known a lot of guys that will put on a Christian mask, they'll speak those Christian words, they'll go to those Christian camps just to get a Christian booty call, and that is not right. That is not right for us to pretend to get something we want. Do you know what that is? That's selfishness.

The question is, "Are they converted? Are they real? Do they adore God? Do they respect you?" Do they respect the boundaries that you've put in place? Do they respect the convictions that you have? Do they love God with their lips and their lives? It seems like a lot of people love God with their lips, but I think very few love God with their lives.

As a matter of fact, I'd be willing to bet that half of those professed Christians don't really adore God. Sure they go to church, but they've never been converted. They've never been changed. A question arises. How do you know if someone has really changed? How do you know if someone is converted? It's really easy. 1 John gives us the method. They don't love the things of darkness, but they love the light. No, they're not perfect, but they want to grow, they want to change. They don't just adore God with their lips, they adore Him with their life. So the question isn't, "Are they Christian?" but the question is, "Are they different? Are they changed? Are they seeking to grow in their relationship with Christ? When you look at their life, is there evidence of their belief in Jesus?"

Now don't get me wrong. There's nothing wrong with that initial attraction, being attracted to someone physically. That's the butterflies, the, "Ooh, he's so cute." There's nothing wrong with that, but if we base our decision of who we're with off of that infatuation, that's wrong. When a guy sees a beautiful girl, he says, "I think I'm in love." That's not love. That's infatuation. Understand the difference.

One study shows that between ninth grade and your second year in college, the average person will have five real loves. I think that a better definition would be what they think is real. That's a normal part of life. But what separates the feeling from true love? Simply, true love stands the test of time. Let me rephrase that. True love stands the test of patience. The best definition that I've ever heard of love is that love is a constant devotion, not a passing emotion. It's not just about butterflies. It's not just a warm and cuddly feeling. It's something more. It's about a devotion.

So when I hear people come to me and they say, "Nate, we just have to get married right now. We just can't wait. We're so in love. We're burning our love for one another. We can't wait." I question whether or not it's really from God, because the Bible says that love is patient. I encourage you. Take time in the dating relationship. Let God bring the two of you together. Take time, because there's a chance that you'll spend the rest of your life with that person.

We know that we're not supposed to marry an unbeliever and you might say, "Well, I don't want to marry them. I just want to date them. I just want to hang out." Hey, guess what? Dating leads to marriage. And you say, "Well, I would never marry them." Well, you've already dropped your standard to date them, so what's going to stop you from marrying them? What's going to stop you from once again lowering your standard even further?

We shouldn't date someone, unless they're marriage material. If you look at someone and say, "I could never marry them" then don't date them, because you're wasting their time. What are you going to do? Stream along so they think that you're in love with them? Is that right? No. Don't date unless they're marriage material.

I would say, step further, to date without the possibility of marriage is setting yourself up to fall into sin. Setting yourself up. I would say that you shouldn't date at all until marriage is something that's in sight because honestly, what's the point, or we just want to have fun? We just want someone to hang out with. Hey, there's this super cool term that you need to learn. It's called "friends." That's what friends do. They hang out. They have fun. They go to movies.

If you don't listen to another thing that I say this morning, understand that whoever you're with, whoever you're dating should be a converted believer who has the evidence of God's work in their life and who adores God.

Again, turn to Matthew 22:39, we see the second greatest commandment. It says, "And the second is like it, you shall love your neighbor as yourself. On these two commandments, hang all the law and the prophets." Now here in these next two verses, we find our next two points and that is, once you love God and once you have Him first in your life, the next step is to love others. So if you don't love God, don't try to love others. If you love God and you found someone else who loves God, then seek to love that person.

But what does that mean, to love others? Well, I believe that the primary reason many relationships fail is because of selfishness, pride. We lie to one another because we're selfish and we don't want to hurt our own pride. We seek our own needs instead of the other person's need because we're selfish and we want our needs met. So the takeaway from this is that the more selfless you are, the better your relationship will be. The more you seek to be the man or the woman that God has called you to be and don't worry about the other person, the better the relationship will be.

The first aspect of this love for others I want to look at is respect and for that, I'll have you turn to Song of Solomon 1:9. Song of Solomon 1:9, as we see our second point, "Act like royalty, not rap stars." Royalty are the most well-mannered and respectful of people, while rap stars aren't. Just say that. Song of Solomon 1:9, we see Solomon says, "I have compared you, my love, to my filly among Pharaoh's chariots."

The question here is, "Do they respect you? Do they treat you well and do they respect the Bible's and your boundaries?" Here in Song of Solomon, he calls her a "filly." Basically, he calls her a horse. We read that and say, "How is that respectfully?" He just said, "Hey, horse force." That's not nice. That's not how you woo a girl. You don't walk up and say, "Hey girl, did you fall from heaven?" "No, why?" "Because you got a horse face." That's not what we do. It doesn't woo people. But basically, Solomon is saying that she is more important than his most prized possession.

This filly, this horse, was the fastest horse in his stable. It was his favorite thing he owned. Guys, this is the 1969 Mustang Shelby Cobra GT that you just mouth water over. You see and you're like, "Oh man, I want that car." That's what this filly is. It's the 'Stang, all right? So it's worth protecting. It's worth pursuing.

Is the person in your life worth pursuing? Is it worth protecting? Does your boyfriend or girlfriend think that you're the bomb.com? Do they treat you like they treat their car? And gentlemen, we got to step up to the plate in this area. Be the leaders that God has called us to be. You are meant to be the initiator. Don't lead girls on. Don't toy with their emotions. Don't keep some girl in the wing as a back-up plan as you seek better options. And guys, until that girl comes along that you're ready to respect and appreciate and value, don't you dare date a girl because you don't deserve her. When you're finally ready to come to that place and pursue her, make sure she knows how much you value and respect her. Make her feel cherished and special.

And girls, ladies, you've heard it said, "Don't be a player hater." Well, I'm telling you, "Don't be a player dater," all right? Don't hate the player, just don't date the player. For some reason, I have no idea why sometimes girls are attracted to these sleazebag guys that are with tons of girls. All right guys, don't be sleazebags. Girls, don't date the sleazebags, okay? Let's get that on the floor. Ask yourself, "Does my boyfriend or girlfriend feel as cherished and loved as my most loved and valued -- fill in the blank -- hobby? Possession? Whatever it is. Do they feel as cherished and loved as my most valued -- whatever."

One of the best ways that you can show respect is by asking what their parents think about the relationship. What do your parents or the authorities in your life think about the relationship that you're in? What do your parents or your pastors or the people you respect, do they approve of the guy or the girl that you're with? Let me tell you. If you're a guy in here who's dating a girl and her parents don't know about it, you're a jerk, all right? You're a jerk. You're disrespectful and you might say, "Well, they won't like me." Okay, then change. Be somebody that they will like. Be somebody that they will feel comfortable having their baby girl spend time with.

Let me tell you. These girls don't deserve a jerk, they deserve a gentleman. These girls are made in the image of God. They need someone to respect them and care for them, and if you begin dating by being sneaky and disrespectful, you don't deserve a relationship. Let me tell you. If we start our relationship off in sin, do we really think it's going to get better? Do we really think, "Oh man, this relationship is so unhealthy now, but someday, it's going to be great." Why are we starting off bad relationships? Again, seek the highest, not the lowest.

God gives us parents and He tells us in Ephesians 6, "Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother." This is because sometimes people can be blind. We don't see all the points in the sides of who we are. We think we know ourselves, but we don't have a clue. The plan of God is to give us people in our life that can help us see things that maybe we don't see, people that have been around the block, people that have experienced things that we haven't. They might see something in this person that you're in love with that's dangerous. Some of it might be unreasonable.

Guys and girls, I want to let you know. Things like, "I don't like their hair." "I don't like their tattoos." You think that's stupid, and to a certain extent, you're right. But guess what? You still need to respect them. Why? Because God said so. Done deal. Case closed. Honor your parents. Sit down and talk to them. Ask them about this guy or girl. They might be blown away. They might flip out if you say that you want to introduce them to this guy or girl. Most importantly, they might be able to give you some insight. They might be able to give you some advice and help keep you accountable.

When I first began having feelings for Janaé, the very first thing I did was I called her dad. Now that was just about the last thing that I wanted to do, but I wanted to show him respect. So I called him up on the phone and I said, "Hey Mr. Chapin, I've been hanging out with your daughter a lot lately and we both started to have feelings for one another. I wanted to ask for your permission to date your daughter with the pursuit of marriage." I waited and then he hung up.

I was like, "Sweet. He's coming for me with a shotgun." Thirty minutes later, he called me back. His phone had died, and he was laughing hysterically. He's like, "Yeah, that's fine." Oh goodness, the worst 30 minutes of my life. I called Janaé. I was, "Janaé, your dad just hang up on me when I asked him if I could date you." She was like, "What?" "Yeah, I don't know what's going on." But I gained his respect. I gained his respect because I was seeking to respect and honor his daughter.

Guys, this task falls completely on you. You've got to be the man in the relationship. Girls, if he doesn't have the guts to do this then he isn't a man anyways and don't waste your time with him. When a guy comes and ask you out, tell him, "Yeah, that's fine. Just go ask my dad first." Remember this, whoever you're dating or whoever you're married to, you're also dating or married to that family, so get comfortable with them because they're going to be around for a long time.

Don't be scared to go around them. Don't tiptoe whenever you hear that they're coming. Now maybe you don't live near your parents or maybe you're in the age where that's just weird. Okay, that's fine. Bring them to Calvary. Introduce them to your friends here. Introduce them to the pastors. Ask them, "Hey, what do you think about my boyfriend or girlfriend?" Let me tell you. If you're in a relationship right now, ladies, that you just want to get out of? Come introduce them, like, Pastor Nelson. Just say, "Hey Pastor Nelson, what do you think about this guy?" He'll just look up straight in the face and say, "Uh-uh. It's not going to work out." We can maybe even arrange a little gun(ph) cleaning(ph) while it's going on to help out the situation.

But seriously, on an important note, I always encourage people to come and get prayer and counseling before the relationship starts. We have a tendency to wait to get counsel until there's a train wreck, until there's nothing good that can come to the situation. Why? Get the prayer and counseling before the train wreck. Let us help you. Let us talk to you about boundaries, love and respect. Let us pray for you and get the relationship off to the right start. That little act of respect will mean so much to your relationship.

Now parents, you're not off the hook yet. Parents, you need to be the kind of people that your kids feel comfortable bringing their boyfriend or girlfriend around. You need to be the kind of people that your kids feel comfortable talking to you about this subject. Talk to them about these things, about these issues. Don't let dating become the forbidden word in your home because if you don't have the hands-on role in the relationship that you're supposed to? Let me tell you. They're going to have them anyways, but they're going to have them behind your back, when you're not going to know about, when you're not going to get to meet the guy or the girl, when you're not going to get to have a Godly influence in that relationship.

So number one, be a God digger, not a gold digger. Number two, act like royalty, not rap stars. And number three, if you've got game, use it. Again, we see what Jesus says here in Matthew Chapter 22, "And the second is like it, love your neighbor as yourself." Here, we see the second aspect of love for others. Number one, the first aspect is we respect one another. Number two, we pursue one another.

Here, turn to Song of Solomon 2:4, and we see the pursuit. Chapter 2, Verse 4, he says, "He brought me to the banqueting house, and his banner over me was love." This is one of the most important parts of the relationship. This is what to do once you have caught the fish. All right. Now for all of you married people who have tuned me out for the past 30 minutes, this is the time to listen because this applies to you. This applies to marriage. This applies to dating. This implies to engagement. This is one of the main reasons why marriages fall apart.

A lot of people spend so much time in the actual pursuit of love that once they actually find it, they don't know what to do with it. It's like a dog chasing a car. If he finally catches it, what does he do with it? When you pursue your significant other, you've got game, right? You write songs. You have flowers. You do romantic dates. You do poems. You do all these things. You stay up late at night talking on the phone for hours and then once you get married, why should it stop? If you've got game, use it. Why stop once you've won? See, guys and girls alike want to feel pursued. They want to feel desired even after they've been won over and this requires cultivation. So if you've got game, use it. Use it while you're dating. Use it while you're engaged and certainly use it while you're married.

It takes time for a relationship to grow and three different times here in Song of Solomon, we see this young couple spending time together. For a relationship to blossom and continue to grow, there has to be time spent. If you want to see your relationship flourish, whether you're dating or married, if you want to see it flourish, then spend time together. Not in a movie theater or in a dark room kissing, but rather, personal time getting to know one another, how important that is to talk about life with each other.

Song of Solomon 1:15, we see that Solomon again gives one of his incredible compliments, "Behold, you are fair, my love. You have doves' eyes." All right Sol, you're calling her a horse face and you're calling her a bird face, what's going on bro? Come on, let's pick it up. Let's step your game up. But it's a beautiful compliment because what he's saying is that a dove has tunnel vision, a dove eye. They see nothing else but what's in front of them and Solomon is saying that because of their adoration for God, their respect for one another and the time they've spent with one another, there's a growing commitment to one another.

Here's something that truly defines a Christian relationship and that is commitment. This characteristic needs to be cultivated all the way up until the day of marriage when you stand before God in a room full of people and you promise to forsake all others and live only for you as long as you both shall live. The only way this commitment can come is through quality time spent with one another and God.

Song of Solomon 1:16, we see that the girlfriend responds to Solomon's beautiful compliment and says, "Behold, you are handsome, my beloved, yea, pleasant." She says, "Dude, you're hot. Man, you got it going on." Now girls, you have to understand that guys want you to think they're cool. They do. That's why they douse themselves with Axe body spray and that's why they say they're way better at everything than what they are actually are. They're good at everything, "Oh yeah, I caught a fish. It was this big." "Oh, I can snowboard. I can do double backflips." And they're better at everything than what they actually are. They want you to think they're cool. That's why he does the things he does and says the things he says. He doesn't care what anyone else in the entire world thinks about him as long as you think that he's all that and a bag of chips.

Now ladies, affirm your husbands. Affirm your dates. Guys, same goes for the girls. Girls want to know that they're the most beautiful girl in the entire world. You need to let them know that she's the most beautiful girl in the world that no one else can compare to her, that nothing else in the world comes between you and her. In this dating and marriage relationship, there needs to be constant affirmation of one another. Now it says that he is pleasant. That's basically to say that he is charming.

So the last thing on this point is, "Are your friendly? Are you kind?" Guys, this is how you should treat a young lady. You should be kind, pleasant and this is so important in a relationship. In order to cultivate relationship, you must first cultivate friendship. This is what friends with benefits are all about, close friends with Godly benefits. Not sexual intimacy, but spiritual intimacy. Not monetary value, but moral value. It's so important to invest in one another through quality time spent. It doesn't need to be a steak dinner or an expensive event because it doesn't matter what you're doing, but it matters who you're with. Also make sure as you're doing that, refine the relationship, not just emotionally, but spiritually, leading one another in the Lord, building one another up in your walk with the Lord.

So as we close, I encourage you. If you mold your relationship to these three principles, be a God digger, not a gold digger. Love God. Act like royalty, not rap stars. Respect one another and finally, if you've got game, use it. Pursue one another. Now this stuff might sound legalistic to you. It might sound stiff to you, but ask someone who's chosen the wrong mate because of a lack of counsel or prayer. Ask someone who's in an unhappy relationship because their husband or wife isn't a Christian. Maybe you've seen the consequences of this in your own life through divorce or through a parent's divorce. I encourage you, make a checklist and if they pass that checklist, then spend time with them in group situations fists, ask yourself, "Are they a representation of Jesus to me?" Not, "Do they have a long hair and a beard?" That's only for indie bands, but "Are they a representation of spiritual quality in my life?"

Finally, don't be transparent or dependent. "I need, therefore, I love." That will always lead to heartache. Seek your love in Christ. He thinks you're beautiful. He thinks you're handsome, and he desires a relationship with you. Even if nothing becomes of the relationship with this guy or girl, at least you developed good fellowship and that is what the true benefit of dating is in God's way. That is friends with benefits.

Let's pray. Lord, we thank You for Your word and we thank You for the benefits of following Your word, the benefits of living a Godly life and have Godly relationships. I pray that You will help everyone in here, whatever stage in life they're at, whether they're single, dating, engaged or married, I pray that You would strengthen their relationships, help them to seek You first and to seek one another. In Jesus name we pray. Amen.

Additional Messages in this Series

Show expand

 
Date Title   Watch Listen Notes Share Save Buy
6/10/2012
completed
resume  
No Man Is An Island
Genesis 2:18-22
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
Welcome to a new series! If you're presently not married, don't tune out! You may be someday and it will be worth the investment to listen and learn. If you are married, this will provide needed affirmation of your marriage vows. Let's make a deal—let's decide that it's not enough to just survive in our marriages; let's aim to thrive in them. To do that, we have to revisit God's original design and plan for this foundational relationship.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
6/17/2012
completed
resume  
The First Wedding
Genesis 2:23-25
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
Today we go back in time to the first wedding—the prototype. The Divine Architect had something specific in mind when He established marriage. Before the days of ancient polygamy, before the days of male chauvinism and neo-feminism, before the days of no-fault divorce and pre-nuptial agreements was the simplicity of God and His creation. There He brought a man and woman together. What did He want this relationship to be like?
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
6/24/2012
completed
resume  
Trouble In Paradise
Genesis 3:1-20
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
One pundit said, "'And they lived happily ever after' is one of the most tragic sentences in literature. It's tragic because it tells a falsehood about life and has led countless generations of people to expect something from human existence that is not possible on this fragile, failing, imperfect earth." Even in Eden, Adam and Eve didn't live happily ever after. The fall of man into sin brought repercussions that are still felt today.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
7/1/2012
completed
resume  
Gender Wars
Genesis 1-3
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
"Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" reads a popular book title. The genders are different from each other; we were designed that way. Today we consider that design and how it became marred. This section of Scripture helps us understand the roots of chauvinism and feminism, both of which have added confusion to our culture. It also helps us understand the roles God gave to men and women, and how they work today.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
7/15/2012
completed
resume  
The Hardest Word in a Marriage
Ephesians 5:22-24
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
Some people would consider submission to be as bad as a four-letter word. But that’s because they don’t understand it. God’s plan is always the best plan. He designed your life to be one that is fulfilling and rewarding. Jesus said, “I have come that they might have life, and have it to the full” (John 10:10). For that to happen, we must function within the guidelines of His will in the relational roles we occupy. Today we look at the basic role of a wife in a marriage relationship.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
7/22/2012
completed
resume  
The Storm-Proof Shelter of a Husband's Love
Ephesians 5:25-32
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
OK men, it's our turn today—God's blueprint for husbands is in view here. God's plan is for a man's love to become a strong shelter for his wife. The kind of love the Bible directs a husband to have is the kind that makes it easy for a woman to submit to. In fact, I believe the husband holds the key to a flourishing relationship by his initiating and cultivating love.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
7/29/2012
completed
resume  
Strength and Honor
Hebrews 13:4
Levi Lusko
Info
Message Summary
From crude advertising campaigns to raunchy entertainment, sex has been taken captive to a mindset of dishonor and shame. In truth, sex is a gift from God. He knows best how it can be fully enjoyed—within the marriage relationship. As we ponder the biblical principles of honor and integrity, we gain a deeper understanding of God's plan for purity before marriage and a vibrant sex life afterward.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
8/5/2012
completed
resume  
Homemaker or Homebreaker?
Titus 2;Proverbs 31
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
We are surrounded by hostile, home-shattering influences in our world today. The supportive elements of society no longer shade and protect us (like they once did). The Christian home must blossom in a field of weeds! Today I'd like to speak to wives in their role as homemakers (fightin' words for some). Let's take a twenty-first century look at a centuries-old struggle and why God honors the role of the homemaker.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
8/12/2012
completed
resume  
Needed: Real Men!
Joshua 24:1-15
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
The definition of what a real man is will vary from person to person, background to background, and ideology to ideology. But one thing is certain: A man who really is godly and really is a spiritual leader and really serves his family is RARE! Today we consider the aged leader of the ancient Hebrew nation, who was calling on the men of his generation to become real men. Joshua instructed those men to do three things.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
8/19/2012
completed
resume  
How to Have a Love Affair with Your Spouse - Part 1
Proverbs 5
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
Being intimate with someone involves more than just sex. Intimacy is a sense of caring and affection in which one can be totally vulnerable without the fear of being hurt or misunderstood. Intimacy is essential if a marriage is going to thrive. How about your marriage? Do these following three elements that foster intimacy exist in your marriage?
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
8/26/2012
completed
resume  
How to Have a Love Affair with Your Spouse - Part 2
Proverbs 5:15-21; Song_of_Solomon 1:1-7:13
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
For a majority of married couples, the word enduring sums up their nuptial experience. But let me offer another word, the idea of which comes straight from Scripture itself: It’s the word enjoying. For those of you who merely endure your marriage, you could enjoy it. Using two of the writings of King Solomon, we will explore four areas that healthy married couples could and should be experiencing enjoyment in.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
9/2/2012
completed
resume  
Weeds of Unfaithfulness in the Garden of Love
Matthew 5:27-30
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
A wise sage once remarked, "Passion is like fire and water—they are good servants but bad masters!" Sexual passion is like that, and every married couple needs to tend the garden of their love very carefully. That means pulling out the weeds that could lead to unfaithful behavior. Many a marriage has been burned in the fire of adultery or flooded with inordinate passion. Let's consider how our marriages can stay "adultery proof."
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
9/9/2012
completed
resume  
Faith Walkin' and Tongue Talkin'
James 3:1-12
Gino Geraci
Info
Message Summary
Who or what controls your speech? Like a mighty ship that is controlled by a small rudder, our tongues are a small member with great power. Our speech is being controlled either by the Lord or it is being controlled by our own anger, bitterness, and selfishness. When Jesus is in control, we do not have to fear what is going to leak out between our teeth. In our text this week, we learn to be wary that we don't offend with our tongue.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
9/30/2012
completed
resume  
Short Fuse for the Long Haul!
Ephesians 4:25-32
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
How can couples have a good fight? Let's face it, there are good fights and there are bad ones. And anger only complicates things. Since marriage is a "long haul" commitment and some people have a "short fuse," there are four principles you need to know in order to fight fair. Moreover, disagreements can actually strengthen your relationship. How?
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
10/7/2012
completed
resume  
Partners for Life
Psalm 1:1-6; Malachi 3:6-10
Bob Shank
Info
Message Summary
When couples marry, they form a partnership where they each agree to cooperate for their mutual interests—it's a partnership between a husband and a wife. But, there is a third party in that partnership—God. Each person's personal relationship with Jesus should be as active and as powerful as their relationship with each other. In this study, we see how we can improve our partnership with God and ensure His blessing on our lives, and we receive concise teaching on what God means when He tells us to test Him regarding our finances.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
10/14/2012
completed
resume  
Have a New You by Friday
Dr. Kevin Leman
Info
Message Summary
Guest speaker Dr. Kevin Leman provides insights for making changes in our marriages and our families. How do we change our behavior? By deciding to act differently! Let’s give 100% of ourselves to God—He is worth nothing less.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
10/21/2012
completed
resume  
In Sickness and in Health
Job 1-2
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
Couples who marry begin their relationship with a verbal contract of wedding vows. They are happy and eager to repeat the familiar "for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health," but most fail to read the fine print of those negative possibilities. Today we will consider what happens in a marriage when health issues become the issue.
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
10/28/2012
completed
resume  
The Most Important Job in the World
Ephesians 6:4
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
What job could possibly be more important to the world than a parent? A surgeon, lawyer, president, pastor, or economist? Nope! Think of a parent's influence: Every word and deed of a parent becomes a fiber woven into the character of a child that ultimately determines how that child fits into the fabric of society. But children can both unify a marriage relationship and challenge it. Let's pull some principles out of Ephesians 6:4 to see how to "Keep Calm" while raising kids.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
11/4/2012
completed
resume  
In-laws or Outlaws?
Genesis 28-31
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
When two people get married, they don't simply marry each other; they marry into an extended family consisting of mother-in-law, father-in-law, and perhaps even sister-in-law and brother-in-law. These in-laws come in all sizes and shapes, and all personalities, and there is the potential for these in-laws to become outlaws to the married couple. Today we explore that relationship and see pitfalls to avoid as well as practices to apply.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
11/11/2012
completed
resume  
The Unequal Yoke
2 Corinthians 6:11-18; 1 Peter 3:1-22
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
There is a hybrid relationship we haven’t talked out yet—the unequally yoked marriage: when one spouse is a believer while the other is an unbeliever. Such a relationship can occur for a whole number of reasons and can provide a whole host of challenges. But it can also be managed, and done so well: with grace and great success. Let’s consider this relationship today.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
11/18/2012
completed
resume  
Are You Building a House or a Home?
Psalm 127
Skip Heitzig
Info
Message Summary
John Henry Jowett wrote, “Anyone can build a house: We need the Lord for the creation of a home.” There’s a huge difference between the construction of these two: One is built with earthly materials and anxious thoughts; the other is the result of strong relationships. As we conclude our series today, consider how you’re planning for the future.
Message Trailer
WatchClosed Captioned
Watch and take notes
Listen - Mini Player
Listen and Take Notes
Listen in Spanish
Outline
Detailed Notes
Transcript
Facebook
Twitter
Email
Video (MP4)
Audio (MP3)
Spanish (MP3)
Buy CD
There are 21 additional messages in this series.
© Copyright 2024 Connection Communications | 1-800-922-1888