Let's have a word of prayer. Father, we are grateful that we have the revelation of God, from Genesis to the Book of Revelation that highlights this wonderful invention when you said, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be joined unto his wife, and the two shall become one flesh."

And we have also seen in your Word the problems that come along with that commitment because we are people, we fall, and we fail, and we falter; but then, the wonderful redemption that comes when our lives are committed to your plan, and especially through the salvation of our Lord Jesus Christ.

Thank you, Lord, that we've been privileged to be part of a family; the families you've given us on earth, as well as a spiritual family that we enjoy right here. And, Father, we pray that you would continue to strengthen marriages and families in this church and in this community, in Jesus' name, amen.

I want to end by talking about priorities; and priorities is the art of managing your life according to what's most important, rather than what's most urgent. Again, it's the art of managing your life according to what's most important, rather than what's most urgent.

I read that Henry Ford noticed: "A weakness in most all human beings," he said, "is that we want to do too many things at one time." And it was said that Henry Ford would wake up in the morning, and his eyes would open, and he would immediately think of dozens of things he thought he needed to get done. He had so much energy that what he would do is get up and run around his property; he said to run off excess energy so that his mind could think clearly about what was most important, rather than what was most urgent.

So today we are looking to the future, and with looking to the future, making a choice. What will our priorities be regarding our families, our marriages? There are a lot of things you consider as being important: your job, occupation; your status, position; your schooling, education. But I submit to you there are things far more important than those things.

I read an article recently about Harry Truman, the thirty third president of the United States, and it was an article that said thirteen hundred letters written by President Truman have recently been discovered, and given out to the public for their perusal by the Harry Truman Library in Independence, Missouri. What's unique about these thirteen hundred letters is that they were all written by Truman to his wife. And that they made a practice early on in their marriage, a rule of thumb, that every day they were apart, Mr. Truman would write a letter to his wife.

Now, just, just consider that here you have what is arguably the most powerful man in the world, with very heavy decisions to make, meeting with other power brokers in the world; but he thought it was absolutely important to sit down every day and to write his wife a letter. There's a man who managed his life according to what was most important, rather than what was most urgent.

Now, not everybody keeps those priorities. We can look around our culture, even our own church family, and we can see that marriages erode over time. And that's my great concern, is that after you do a series on marriage that many marriages, once this is off our radar screen, just sort of tend to erode, and the relationship becomes one of convenience.

There was a couple in Atlanta, Georgia, who discovered that My Fair Lady was being played on Broadway. It was something they always dreamed of doing, going to New York City and seeing that play played out on the Broadway stage. So, they took their vacation money, went to New York City, bought the tickets, went into the theater.

They had great seats, seven rows from the front, right down by the orchestra pit. And the husband, before the show started, looked around and noticed that every single seat was taken. It was packed, except for one seat, and that was the seat right next to him.

So during the intermission, he turned over to the lady on the other side of the empty seat and asked about the empty seat. She said, "That seat belongs to my husband. We would go to the theater quite regularly, but he died." And so he expressed his condolences to her, and his wife did as well. And then the husband said, "But you would think that you would be able to get one of your other family members or friends to take that seat; this is such an important play." And she said, "Oh, no, they're all at the funeral." Now, wouldn't you say that that relationship deteriorated a bit?

Let's look at Psalm 127: "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it; unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It’s vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so he gives his beloved sleep.”

"Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate."

Now, we're reading a psalm, and it's a very short psalm. It's packed full of truths, however. And whenever you are dealing with any of the psalms, you are dealing with Hebrew poetry. And just a word about Hebrew poetry: the way the Hebrews did their poetry is so different from the way we Americans do our poetry.

We like to rhyme words, and we have a certain meter and rhythm and cadence and rhyme: Jack and Jill went up the hill, to fetch a pail of water—da da da da da—it goes. You know, there's a lot of that kind of rhythm and rhyme.

The way the Hebrews did their poetry is they didn't think it was important to rhyme words, but to rhyme thoughts, ideas, concepts. So it's called Hebrew parallelism because a statement would be made, and a similar statement that amplifies the first statement would come after that; or a statement would be made, and a contrasting statement would be given.

You basically have both in this psalm. You have a statement, followed by an amplifying statement, by another amplifying statement, but then it turns into a contrast. So you have two parts of Psalm 127: verses 1 and 2 form the first section; verses 3, 4, and 5, form the second section, and both sections are a contrast to each other.

In the first section of the psalm that we read it describes the self initiated labor, living for temporal things. The second section deals with the home life, marriage, and family as God pours out his blessing. So, in the first part the priorities are projects and property. In the second section of the psalm the focus is on people, not projects, not property, but people. So, the first part is the wrong focus; the second part is the correct focus.

And as you can see in your outline in your worship folder, you have a house built on vanity versus a home built on values. So, like the sermon title implies: are you building a house or are you building a home? Is your focus on property and projects, or is your focus on people? Are you building a house or a home? See, you can build up projects for temporal profit, or you can build up people for both temporal and eternal profit.

Now, look back at your psalm and you'll notice right after it says, "Psalm 127," it says in your Bible, "A Song of Ascents." Does it say that? A Song of Ascents, that is: "songs for the upward climb", more literally. There are fifteen of them in the Book of Psalms, Psalm 120 through Psalm 134. They were used in two ways: corporately as a nation; liturgically, for the priesthood.

Every year, three times a year, the Hebrews around Jerusalem, around the nation, would get out of their houses, get out on the road, and hike up to Jerusalem for those three feasts. As they would walk on the road they’d pull out these fifteen songs of ascent; because you go to Jerusalem, you're climbing the hill. It's twenty five hundred feet above sea level. Most of Israel is lower than that.

So you're walking up, ascending toward Jerusalem to the place of worship, and you would sing these songs as a family and as a congregation. That's how they were used corporately.

They were also used liturgically, because the Mishnah tells us that there were fifteen steps from the court of the women of the temple at Jerusalem that went to the court of the Israelites. So the Levites would stand on those fifteen steps, and they would sing out the psalms of ascent.

So, we're, we’re reading not only something that deals with our marriages, our families, and our priorities, but these were part of the ancient hymn book that the Hebrews used in the temple. You'll notice also it says not only a Song of Ascents, but it says, "Of Solomon." Notice that, Of Solomon, meaning this song was probably written by King David's son, Solomon.

Now, if you know anything about Solomon, you know that he would be very qualified to speak about what we just read. He was a builder. He built cities, and walls, and fortifications, and so he knew a lot about building and guarding cities. But he also knew a lot about family life, because he had how many wives? Seven hundred wives, and three hundred porcupines—I mean—concubines. He had a thousand women in his life. He'd be an interesting guy to interview.

Now, look at the first couple of verses. This is the house that is built on vanity, and notice the repetition of the word: "Unless the Lord builds the house, they labor in vain who build it. Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain. It is vain for you to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so he gives his beloved sleep."

Notice the threefold repetition of the word vain. That is so Solomonic, right? It's one of his favorite words. Some of you remember the Book of Ecclesiastes, which was a period that Solomon had in his own life, sort of a crazy, maddening time when everything that he tried to build and pursue and use to fill up his life just was so empty that in that book he uses the word vanity or vain thirty five times.

And twice he uses the phrase, "Vanity of vanities, all is vanity." That's the superlative use of the word, as if to say there’s nothing more empty, futile, or vain than this: "A life without God is empty." And here he uses the word three times in this psalm, vanity or vain, if you try to build a house or watch the city.

Now, when it says "house" in verse 1, "Unless the Lord builds the house," what house is he talking about? When he says, "Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain," what city do you think he was referring to? Probably Jerusalem, that's the city he lived in; that was the capitol of the nation.

Now, when he says, "Unless the Lord builds the house," what was he referring to? Whose house? Now, you might say, "Well, his own house." Probably was the temple, because the temple was called, in the Old Testament, the house of the Lord, you remember. So he's probably speaking about guarding the city of Jerusalem, and building the temple of the Lord.

Now, here's the background: His dad, King David, made Jerusalem the capitol of the nation. He fortified the city of Jerusalem, and it was in David's heart, it was his lifelong dream to build the house of the Lord. But the Lord said, "David, sorry, you're not going to make that dream. You're not going to build the temple. You're not going to build my house. You're a man of blood, a man of war. You've shed much blood at your hands. So you won't build my house, the temple, but your son who comes after you will build my house."

It's interesting that both David and Solomon were builders. They knew what it was like to have that deep drive within the heart of man to build something, to be successful, and to preserve what you have made. As soon as Solomon becomes king, he undertakes the massive building project of making in Jerusalem the house of the Lord. This is what he did: First of all, he made a treaty with a Phoenician king named Hiram, who was the king of Tyre up in Lebanon.

Solomon knew that he needed stone, but he also needed wood. So in exchange for Israeli oil and wine and wheat, he wanted Lebanese cypress and cedar wood. So he sends thirty thousand woodcutters from Israel up to Lebanon to cut the wood down and bring it down by boat, down to Joppa, and up to Jerusalem.

Not only that, but he gets one hundred eighty three thousand workers, eighty thousand stonecutters, and three thousand three hundred supervisors. I'd probably want to be one of those if I could’ve had a choice. He had that many people working on building the temple, and he was quite successful.

He was able to build a temple that today would cost in the billions of dollars to make. He was able to build that in seven and a half years. He spent seven and a half years building the house of the Lord. But listen to this: he spent another thirteen years building his own house. So it kind of shows you where his priorities are.

So, he builds his own house, he builds the house of the Lord, and when they dedicate the temple in Jerusalem, the Lord said this: "If you or the kings who come after you ever turn away from following me, this house will become a heap of ruins. If you turn away from me or if the people who follow you turn away from me, this house, this temple, will become a heap of ruins."

So he says, "Unless the Lord builds the house, unless the Lord's behind this, anointing this, doing the work, this is all for nothing, its vanity. The Lord has got to be behind it." Notice he also says, "Unless the Lord guards the city, the watchman stays awake in vain." Any time you built a city in those days, with walls around it, you’ve got to guard it.

Now, Solomon was not only a builder, he was a protector, a guarder of cities. I wish today we were standing in Israel in the city of Megiddo. I would point out to you an interesting archaeological discovery called the Gate of Solomon, a Solomonic gate that he made in different parts of the land wherever he build fortification cities.

And the Gate of Solomon was a corridor of four interlocking gates. So that if you were an enemy and you could penetrate the first gate, you'd find yourself in a stone corridor, and you'd face a second gate. If you got past the second gate, you'd face a third gate, and then a fourth gate. Meanwhile, there'd be soldiers above you standing on the ramparts taking potshots at you with their arrows. It was very difficult to penetrate the gates of Solomon.

But what happened? After building the city and fortifying the city, after building the house of the Lord and his own house, Solomon eventually fell away from God. And the kings that came after him broke the covenant of God. So God stopped protecting the city, and allowed it to be destroyed in 586 B.C. by the Babylonian army, and the whole group of that nation went into captivity for seventy years.

So here you have this builder, this achiever, this magnanimous workaholic saying, "Unless the Lord builds the house, and unless the Lord guards the city, it's all emptiness, futile, vanity." These verses could be addressed today to the workaholic overachiever, the person who likes to build and guard his or her own empire. This could be addressed to those who work hard to build the house, the organization, the corporation, or the church, but their own home is in disrepair. Their relationships are in disrepair. That's a house that is built upon vanity.

I found an article in the magazine Scientific American by a gentleman named Urie Bronfenbrenner. Some of you have heard of him; only if you have a counseling background probably will you have heard of Urie Bronfenbrenner. He was a Russian American who examined American culture, American life, and especially American families; and he looked specifically at problems that face the American family. And he was warning of forces that are causing the family in America to deteriorate.

This is what he wrote, quote: "The demands of a job that claim mealtimes, evenings, and weekends as well as days; the trips and moves necessary to get ahead or simply hold one's own; the increasing time spent commuting, entertaining, going out, meeting social and community obligations, all of these produce a situation in which a child often spends more time with a passive babysitter than with a participating parent." Close quote.

We all applaud hardworking, entrepreneurial parents. What we have to be careful of is that our labor and our watching is not in vain; that we're working on people, not just on projects or property, but that we have the right value system, the right priorities.

Notice in verse 2, he amplifies, now, the thought: "It's vain for you [empty] to rise up early, to sit up late, to eat the bread of sorrows; for so he gives his beloved sleep." It's easy to see what this verse is talking about: The forced, artificial lengthening of the day where you are managing your time, you're trying to put so much in the twenty four hour period, and your adding anxiety on top of your labor.

So you build it all day long, you guard it all evening long, and then you toss and turn all night long; that's the idea. The Living Bible renders it, "It is senseless for you to work so hard from early morning to late at night fearing that you'll starve to death." Such is the life of the empire builder.

He says, "It’s vain. It's demanding. It's vain for you to rise up early and to sit up late. It's excruciating." It says: "To eat the bread of sorrows," in other words, you're busy, but you're bummed out. Ever met a person like that? "How come you're so bummed out?" "Cuz, I am so busy." Busy, busy, busy; bummed out, bummed out, bummed out; you're eating the bread of sorrows.

Back in 1851 the greatest marvel in the world at that time was steam, because we discovered that you could take steam and you could convert it into energy. So at the World's Fair in London, in Hyde Park, the Crystal Palace Exhibition, they had all sorts of gadgets that were on display for people to come and check out. A steam locomotive, steam plows, steam looms, steam organs, steam cannons, and all of them were placed on display; and a first prize was given to the greatest machine.

But get this: the machine that took first place at that Crystal Palace Exhibition in 1851, in London, England, was a machine that had seven thousand moving parts all powered by steam. When the machine was turned on, gears moved, pulleys pulled, bells rang out; but the interesting thing about that is the machine did nothing. It just moved and made noise. It was of no practical value at all. Seven thousand moving parts with no practical value. Lots of activity, no accomplishment, and it got first place.

Have you discovered there's a big difference between activity and accomplishment? Don't confuse the two. You can be busy, busy, busy; bummed out, bummed out, bummed out; "eating the bread of sorrows."

Ever feel like you're just spinning plates? Spinning plates, like, "Oh, spinning plates. Can't let that fall. Wait a minute—over here—got to spin that plate—got to spin that plate." Busy, bummed out, lots of activity, no accomplishment.

Not only that, but Solomon says it's exhausting, for he says, "For so he gives his beloved sleep." God gave you the gift of being able to go home and stop work, and have a good night's sleep. It's God's gift to you, just like the Sabbath is a gift of God. You take one day a week and you just hang, you rest. Jesus said, "The Sabbath wasn’t, man wasn't made for the Sabbath, but the Sabbath was made for man." It's a gift. And so the Lord gives his beloved sleep. There's a time to quit, not to worry and to worship your work.

I came across a biography sometime back on George Lucas. You know the name; he's the producer of Star Wars and all of the subsequent films that that incredible story produced. George Lucas, in this book, is portrayed as a young multimillionaire who is restless and unfulfilled and frustrated.

The book portrays him not having a good relationship with his wife, not enjoying life, but he can't quit. There's a classic example of somebody who built a house, an empire, while his home is in shambles; it's the wrong focus. A house built on vanity; it's vain, vain, vain.

Now, in verse 3 we have a change to a home built on values. "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is a reward. Like arrows in the hand of a warrior, so are the children of one's youth. Happy is the man who has his quiver full of them; they shall not be ashamed, but shall speak with their enemies in the gate."

Now, whenever you have the word behold, it's a word that causes you to stop and look; that's the idea. Behold, like, "Look at this," or I like to say, "Hey, check this out." So he writes negatively: "Here's a, here’s a house built on vanity." He says, "Okay, now forget that. But hey, check this out."

Let me have you check out what a home built on values is all about. We're not focusing on projects, we're not focusing on property, we're focusing on people. You notice in the wording there's nothing written, written about building, or watching, guarding; we're at a deeper level. You might say that he turns from just making a living to enjoying your life that is a blessing of God.

What makes it so valuable? First of all, God centered relationships. Now, you'll notice three words in this psalm. Notice the word Lord. It is mentioned three times altogether in Psalm 127, Lord. It's mentioned three times, but it's also implied another three times. So really a total—I counted—of six times the, the word Lord is either mentioned or implied.

And then in verse 3 notice the word womb. "The fruit of the womb is a reward." The womb would refer to the wife. It's the reproductive process of a woman. And then the term children is mentioned twice. So you have the Lord, the wife, and children, and that describes a home. These are the core family relationships with God at the center. That's a home.

A home isn't built on vain things; a home is built on valuable relationships. I've said this before, it bears repeating: If you were to strip away everything else in life down to its irreducible minimum, you would have one thing left, relationships; a relationship with God, or not, and relationships with people, good or bad. You take all of the stuff away from life, all of the extras, and you boil it down to its irreducible minimum, and you have relationships.

So the rule of thumb is that our spiritual commitment should spill over and affect every other relationship. In other words, the vertical relationship with God should affect the horizontal relationships with people in a positive way.

Hudson Taylor was a missionary to China, founded the China Inland Mission over a century ago. He said, "If your father and mother, brother and sister, if the very cat and dog in your house are not happier for you being a Christian, it's a question whether you really are." I like to think that I have a happy dog because I love the Lord, and everybody else, because I love the Lord. So the value is: first of all, God centered relationships.

The second thing that makes it valuable is a God given heritage. He says, "Children are a heritage from the Lord." I know some parents that would question this. Their kids are at that age where they test the whole heritage thing. Even babies, you know, you, you are so excited to have a baby and then you have a baby and this thing screams, like, all the time.

Somebody once said, "A baby is a digestive apparatus with a loud noise at one end, and no responsibility at the other end." Well, God would say, "No, it's a heritage. It's a gift on loan to you for you to shape and you to launch out into this world to make a difference."

Listen, kids are the only earthly possession you can take with you to heaven. "What about my new iPhone 5, can't I take that?" No, you can't. First of all, it will be outdated in a month. And all of the cool things you have around you in your life, you'll never take with you to heaven. Children, people, relationships, it's the only thing you can take with you to heaven.

Now, some people at this stage of our history might dispute the value of having children. They might say, "Well, you know, there's enough people on earth already; we don't need to have any more," or "We live in such a dark, dangerous world, it's probably not the best time to have kids."

There's terrorism, there's the threat of war in the Middle East, there's the possibility of economic problems here at home, and: "We don't know what's going to happen in the next four years in this country, it's such a bad time, we shouldn't have children." That's exactly why you should have children. Don't you get it? This world needs the kind of children that Christians can produce. We need to keep; we need to keep the flow of the heritage thing going. We really do.

Can you imagine if the parents of Elijah would have thought that way? "Honey, I don't think we should have kids, you know, it's really bad here in Israel. King Omri is, like, a wicked dude. His values, his administration—so bad—we should—" "No, no, we need to have an Elijah right about now."

Or, or what if the parents of Moses would have said, "You know that Pharaoh dude, he's a bad guy. He kills babies, and he could kill our baby." "Well, no, let's have one anyway, and trust the Lord with little Moses," and so Moses was born.

And when God sees what's happening in the world, it's bad and looming and wicked, his plan is: A baby is going to be born to do something about that; hence, the Lord Jesus Christ. We're celebrating that in a month: Christmas. So children are a heritage from the Lord.

Now, as we come to a close of this message in the series, go back to some of the historical information we noted at the beginning of Psalm 127. David was the one who wanted to build the Lord a house in Jerusalem. That was his dream. He amassed finances for it. He amassed supplies to get ready for that event. But the Lord said, "David, sorry, you're not going to build a house. Your son will build a house for me." But then the Lord promised him something else, he said, "You're not going to build me a house, but I am going to build you a house."

Now, here's a question: When God made that promise: "I'm going to build you a house," was he thinking of an outward structure? Was he thinking of a townhouse? Was he thinking of an adobe house? No, he wasn't thinking of anything material; he was thinking of something spiritual, metaphorical.

"I'm going to build you a dynasty of sons who will rule the nation of Israel that will eventually lead to the Lord Jesus Christ, the greater Son of David." So David is thinking materially: "I want to build the Lord a house." God is thinking relationally: "I want to do for you, David, what no man can do. I want you to have a home. You're in you’re into building a kingdom, and even building me a house; I'm going to build you a relational thing, a home."

There’s some principles I want you to walk away with. I've distilled this message, and really the entire series, down to three principles to go home with, to walk away with. Number one: God's best gifts are people, not property or projects, people. Those are God's best gifts.

Number two: No amount of human effort or toil can accomplish as much as God's blessing. Unless the Lord builds, it's in vain. Unless the Lord guards, it's in vain. All of your effort and all of your toil can't accomplish what God's blessing can do.

And number three: Godly relationships will turn your house into a home. Are those your priorities? What are your priorities? As we leave this series, and we march out from this place, are your priorities projects, property, or people?

Some of you will find this interesting: In Deadwood, South Dakota, there's a museum, and inside is an inscription written by a tired, beleaguered prospector—you know, prospector looking for gold. He said, "I lost my gun. I lost my horse. I'm out of food. The Indians are after me, but I've got all the gold I can carry."

How stupid. He lost his protection, his transportation, and his enemies are about to kill him, and "he's got the gold." Dude, you won't have it for another twenty minutes if they are that close to you, behind you. "I've lost everything, but I've got the gold."

What are you willing to lose, to hold onto something that is perishable? So what do you want? Do you want a house or do you want a home? Is it projects and property or is it people? What will you invest in? If you're building your life apart from God, its vanity; if you are adding worry on top of that, it's insanity. But if you're building upward to God and outward to people, that's a valuable commodity.

And, Father, that's where we end the message and the series. We thank you, Lord that by your steady hand, and by the sure promises of Scripture you’ve helped us to keep calm as we marry on, as we walk through the commitment that has been made. Lord, I pray for these dear families represented here. I pray for the marriages in our fellowship, the men and the women who have made a covenant with each other before God and before human witnesses.

Help them to stand strong. Help them to rely upon you. And when the storms get tough, of whatever sort they’d be, I pray, Lord, that they would look to you to build, they would look to you to guard. You would build their home, you would guard their relationship. That it would be a home built on values, not just a house built on vanity.

I pray, Father, we would take care of our children and grandchildren, seeing them as you see them: An opportunity to make a difference as we launch them out like arrows. And we would be clever warriors being very, very careful on where and how they are launched. We pray you would use us and use them to affect this world for the sake of the kingdom of God, and the gospel of our great Christ. Strengthen us for that task, in Jesus' name, amen.