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A Dad You Can Come Home To
Luke 15:11-32
Skip Heitzig

Luke 15 (NKJV™)
11 Then He said: "A certain man had two sons.
12 "And the younger of them said to his father, 'Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me.' So he divided to them his livelihood.
13 "And not many days after, the younger son gathered all together, journeyed to a far country, and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.
14 "But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land, and he began to be in want.
15 "Then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country, and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.
16 "And he would gladly have filled his stomach with the pods that the swine ate, and no one gave him anything.
17 "But when he came to himself, he said, 'How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough and to spare, and I perish with hunger!
18 'I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you,
19 "and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants."'
20 "And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.
21 "And the son said to him, 'Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.'
22 "But the father said to his servants, 'Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet.
23 'And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry;
24 'for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.' And they began to be merry.
25 "Now his older son was in the field. And as he came and drew near to the house, he heard music and dancing.
26 "So he called one of the servants and asked what these things meant.
27 "And he said to him, 'Your brother has come, and because he has received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf.'
28 "But he was angry and would not go in. Therefore his father came out and pleaded with him.
29 "So he answered and said to his father, 'Lo, these many years I have been serving you; I never transgressed your commandment at any time; and yet you never gave me a young goat, that I might make merry with my friends.
30 'But as soon as this son of yours came, who has devoured your livelihood with harlots, you killed the fatted calf for him.'
31 "And he said to him, 'Son, you are always with me, and all that I have is yours.
32 'It was right that we should make merry and be glad, for your brother was dead and is alive again, and was lost and is found.'"

New King James Version®, Copyright © 1982, Thomas Nelson, Inc. All rights reserved.

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Father's Day Messages

While not everyone has had a great dad, every follower of Jesus Christ has perfect Father. Let's look at the most familiar and beloved of all Christ's parables this Father's Day, and consider five characteristics displayed by the prodigal son's father.

A father's influence in a child's life can hardly be overstated. Find encouragement, instruction, and hope in this special collection of Father's Day messages.

Detailed Notes

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  1. Introduction
    1. Father's Day
      1. 103 years ago, celebrated for the first time in U. S.
      2. More calls made on Mother's Day than any other day; most collect calls on Father's Day
      3. "A father is a person who carries pictures where his money used to be"
    2. Parable of the Prodigal Son
      1. Best-known, best-loved parable
      2. Charles Dickens and Ralph Waldo Emerson both called it the best short story ever written
      3. Not about the son as much as the gracious nature of the father
        1. God is willing to forgive repentant sinners
        2. Third in a series of parables with that message
        3. Rename: Parable of the Merciful Father
    3. Context
      1. Jesus speaking to Pharisees and scribes (see Luke 15:1-3)
      2. Response to complaint that He hung out with the riffraff of society
      3. Three parables that teach the same lesson: God is willing to restore, forgive, and find repentant sinners
        1. Lost sheep: 100 sheep, 1 lost, 1% loss (see Luke 15:4-7)
        2. Lost coin: 10 coins, 1 lost, 10% loss (see Luke 15:8-10)
        3. Prodigal son: 2 sons, 1 lost, 50% loss
      4. Prodigal – wasteful, profligate, self-centered, spend-thrift; pour out all resources for a self-indulgent lifestyle
  2. Characteristics of the Father of the Prodigal Son
    1. He was Flexible
      1. Son an example of a wasted life
      2. Father with a rebellious son; probably a teen
      3. Inheritance
        1. According to Jewish laws, oldest son got a double portion
        2. When the father died the inheritance was paid
      4. Demanding the inheritance was the highest degree of dishonor: "I want you dead!"
        1. "Honor your father and your mother," (Exodus 20:12)
        2. Typical response to that level of rebellion:
          1. Public slap in the face from the father
          2. Public scorn
          3. Funeral service for the son, who was considered dead (later alluded to: "My son was dead and is alive again" (v. 24))
      5. Father honors the choice of the son: divided his livelihood
        1. No law forbid him
        2. Father giving the sinner freedom
      6. Teenage rebellion
        1. They think they know more than you do
        2. What to do? "When a boy turns 13, seal him in a barrel and feed him through a knot hole. When he turns 16, plug up the hole."—Mark Twain
      7. Flexible without compromise or lowering the standard of righteousness
        1. Live with the godly values you choose
        2. Let your children decide how they will live
        3. "Watching your daughter being collected by her date feels like handing over a million dollar Stradivarius to a gorilla," Jim Bishop
      8. The son will never forget
      9. Why do teens go with the wrong crowd? That crowd accepts them
    2. He was Reliable
      1. Diligent in business
      2. Wealthy
        1. Son believes he can live extravagantly on his portion
        2. Substantial estate: land animals, buildings, hires day laborers, musicians, dancers, gives fatted calf, gold ring, new clothes, new shoes
      3. Son loses money
        1. Bankrupt, humiliated, depressed
        2. Thoughts go back to a warm home
      4. Story of a disrespectful son and a successful father
      5. Son didn't care about his father's work ethic
      6. Thankful for hardworking dads: "No one had anything but praise for my father who, despite his slender resources, was ready to provide his son with all that was needed to enable him to travel so far for the purpose of study. Many of our townspeople, far richer than my father, went to no such trouble for their children's sake." —Augustine
      7. Caution:
        1. Work hard, but balance with the time you spend with family
        2. Don't be overcommitted and preoccupied with your status, position, or work
        3. Don't neglect to nurture
        4. Teach children the value of hard work
          1. Refrain from providing what you never had
          2. Teach them as you work hard, they should
    3. He was Approachable
      1. Son came to his senses
      2. Son has run out of all
        1. Bad choice - could be helped
        2. Severe famine - couldn't be helped, compounded the problem
      3. His dad came to mind at his lowest point
        1. Predicted the father would be: fair, generous, approachable
        2. Never thinks his dad will refuse him or turn him away
      4. Kids know their parents and can predict their response
      5. Lessons we want our children to know about God
        1. God in heaven can be approached at any time
        2. Bold to enter the throne of God to receive grace
        3. Ask, seek, knock
      6. Teach God's approachability by modeling it
        1. Child's first impression of God is typically what he sees in his father
          1. "Our Father in heaven" (Matthew 6:9)
          2. Heavenly Father
        2. Children think God is a lot like dad
      7. How approachable are you?
    4. He was Gentle
      1. Idea would have shocked the Pharisees
        1. Unknown in that culture for a father to respond like this after the dishonor
        2. To ask to come back would be an outrageous request
        3. Typical response
          1. Scorn by community
          2. Bow before the father and kiss his feet
          3. Work and be evaluated whether worthy
          4. No grace or compassion
      2. Father felt compassion
        1. Σπλαγχνίζομαι; splagchnizomai - from splanxna, 'the inward parts,' especially the nobler entrails – the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. These gradually came to denote the seat of the affections
        2. Moved with deepest emotion in his gut
        3. No hesitation, castigation, or inquisition
      3. There was a celebration
      4. He saw the son from far off
        1. He was looking for him
        2. He was looking regularly
      5. He ran to him
        1. Sprinted
        2. Wanted to meet the son before he got into town
        3. Save the son from public shame
      6. He  heartily covered him with many kisses
      7. He said nothing; he listened
      8. You may not approve of what your child is doing
        1. They are your child
        2. If they come back, don't waste the opportunity
      9. In a sample of 500 college drop-outs, a sense of isolation, especially from the father, was reported
    5. He was Impartial
      1. His older son complained about the mercy the father showed
      2. Accused of partiality he never displayed
      3. He loved them both equally
      4. He didn't play favorites
        1. He went down the road to meet with one son
        2. He went out of the house to plead with the other
      5. He never makes comparisons
      6. He is the kind of dad the world needs more of
      7. "If he's wealthy and prominent and you stand in awe of him, call him 'Father.' If he sits in his shirt sleeves and suspenders at a ball game and picnic, call him 'Pop.' If he wheels the baby carriage and carries bundles meekly, call him 'Papa' (with the accent on the first syllable). If he belongs to a literary circle and writes cultured papers, call him 'Papa' (with the accent on the last syllable). If however, he makes a pal of you when you’re good, and is too wise to let you pull the wool over his loving eyes when you are not; if, moreover, you’re quite sure no other fellow you know has quite so fine a father, you may call him 'Dad'." — William Franklin

Publications Referenced: A Dad's Guide for Changing a Diaper, by Jimmy Piersal; Confessions, by Augustine
Figures Referenced: Charles Dickens; Ralph Waldo Emerson; Mark Twain; Jim Bishop; William Franklin
Greek Terms: Σπλαγχνίζομαι; splagchnizomai - from splanxna, 'the inward parts,' especially the nobler entrails – the heart, lungs, liver, and kidneys. These gradually came to denote the seat of the affections
Cross References: Exodus 20:12; Matthew 6:9; Luke 15:1-10

Transcript

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Would you turn in your bibles this morning to the Gospel of Luke Chapter 15.  We're departing from our study in John because it is Father's Day.  So, we'll go to the Gospel of Luke.  Let's pray together.

Our God in heaven, we're so thankful that we can approach you as our Father in heaven.  That relationship that has been brought about by what your son, Jesus, did for us on the cross 2,000 years ago enables us to not relate to a God who is distant or aloof, or who has wound up the universe and now is not nearby.  But there is an intimacy and a walk that we can have with you that only those who enter into that relationship can ever know fully.  We pray that others would come into that relationship.  We thank you for the one we have and we pray that we might understand what those attributes of fatherhood that you exhibit that we as parents on earth might exhibit toward those around us, our children around us.  Strengthen the ties of every family in this fellowship today, this week, and help us to change in areas were we need to change.  In Jesus' name, Amen.

Let's see, 103 years ago, Father's Day was celebrated at least as far as we know for the first time in our country.  It started back in West Virginia.  It's a great idea.  One kid, in answering the question the teacher posted in class when she said, "What's the difference between Mother's Day and Father's Day," the kid said, "Well, they're essentially the same, only on Father's Day you spend far less than you do on Mother's Day."

One little eight-year-old boy said, "My daddy can do anything.  He can climb the highest mountains, swim the deepest ocean.  He can fly the fastest airplane.  He can do anything but most of the time he just carries out the garbage."

Did you know that the one day in our country that sees the most telephone traffic is Mother's Day? More calls are made on Mother's Day than any other day by far.  But we are told by AT&T that the one day where you see the most collect phone calls are made on Father's Day.  That's true.  At the same time, I don't think any dad minds getting that call.

Twenty five years ago, I became a father to a little boy named Nathan Alexander, 25 years ago.  Ten months ago I became a grandpa to little Seth.  Now, I remember hearing for the first time my son say, "Dada".  Those may have been his first words.  I'm not sure, but when I heard it, it's like music.  It is the best sound ever, although grandpa may be the best sound.  I'm not quite sure yet.  I'm waiting to hear that.

Somebody once said that a father is a person who carries pictures where his money used to be.  I want to modify that.  I want to say a grandpa is someone who carries pictures where his money used to be but he doesn't care.
Our generations have changed in recent years.  It used to be in my parents' generation where dads were pretty distant from their kids.  That's the way I grew up at least in the formative years.  They didn't spend a whole lot of time with intimate family tours, spending time changing diapers, those kinds of things.  Thankfully things have changed over the years.

When they started to change back in the 1960s actually is when it really began, that trend.  One baseball player named Piersall, Jimmy Piersall, who played for the Red Sox and the Mets and later on the Angels, wrote a little piece called "A Dad's Guide to Changing Diapers".  In those days, diapers weren't what they are today.  They were simply squares of cotton cloth.  And so, here's a professional baseball player giving dads instructions on how to change diapers, "A Dad's Guide to Changing Baby Diapers".

"First, spread the diaper in the position of the diamond when you're at bat.  Then fold second base down to home and set the baby on the pitcher's mound.  Put first base and third base together.  Bring up home plate and pin the three together.  Of course in case of rain, you've got to call the game and start all over again."  I love that.

In Luke Chapter 15, where I've asked you to turn this morning, we have what is the best known and best loved of all of Jesus' parables.  It is the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  Charles Dickens said it was the best short story ever written and so did Ralph Waldo Emerson.

Now, it's called and it begins in Verse 11 of that chapter by the way.  It's called the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  I don't like that title because that is not the emphasis of the story.  It's really not about the son as much as it is highlighting the gracious nature of the father.  Jesus is talking about how God in heaven is willing to forgive repentant sinners and it's the third in a series of parables that teach that story.

So if you don't mind, I'm going to rename what is traditionally been called the Parable of the Prodigal Son.  No, this is the Parable of the Merciful Father.  That is the emphasis here.  The name of my message is a dad you can come home to, and I want to give you five characteristics of the father of the prodigal son.

There was once a boy who was told by a family friend.  A family friend said, "You remind me of your father."  The little boy stuck his tongue out in disgust.  It tells you a lot.  Another boy was told, "You remind me of your father."  This little boy, the second one stuck out his chest, not his tongue, indignity.

At some point in your life if somebody said, "You remind me of your father," would you have that child stick out the tongue or the chest? Would it be a disgust or a delight? Questions to maul around as we go through our story.

Now, I want to take you back to Verse 1 of Chapter 15.  I always like to get history.  I always like to get context.  I don't want to jump into anything and show you any misinterpretation.  So, Verse 1 and 2 sets the stage.  It says, Then all the tax collectors and the sinners drew near to Him to hear Him.  And the Pharisees and the scribes complained, saying, "This man receives sinners and eats with them."  And so he spoke this parable to them saying.

So Jesus answers this complaint that Christ hung out with the riffraff of society.  And He does so in a clever way by giving them three stories, a trilogy of parables.  The first is the story of a lost sheep.  The second one is the story of a lost coin.  The third is the story of a lost son.  All with the same unique lesson that is God is willing to restore and bring back and forgive; find somebody who is lost, a repentant sinner.  So it's a trilogy with the same message.

Beginning in Verse 3 is the parable of the lost sheep.  Now listen to this.  There's a hundred sheep and one is lost.  That leads how many left? Ninety nine.  So we have a 1% loss.  In the second story you have ten coins, one is lost, so nine are left.  That represents a 10% loss.  The third story shows the most profound loss.  That's our story.  There are two sons, one is lost.  That's a 50% relational loss.  The most profound.  It helps set the stage.

So, I want to give you five characteristics of the dad, the father of the prodigal son.  Number one, he was flexible.  We begin our story where it begins in Verse 11.  Then he said, A certain man had two sons and the younger of them said to his father, "Father, give me the portion of goods that falls to me."  So he divided to them his livelihood.  And not many days after the younger son gathered altogether, journeyed to a far country and there wasted his possessions with prodigal living.

That's where we get the idea of the prodigal son, that word.  But when he had spent all, there arose a severe famine in that land and he began to be in want or in need.  And then he went and joined himself to a citizen of that country and he sent him into his fields to feed swine.

Now, you'll notice the word prodigal. That's an old English word.  We don't use the term anymore.  It means wasteful, profligate, self-centered.  We call a person a spendthrift, willing to pour out all of the resources for a self-indulgent lifestyle.  So, this son is the quintessential example of wasting your life.  So, you have a father with a rebellious son, probably a teenager.  Why a teenager? Because his obviously not married, he goes out alone.  He was of age to demand an inheritance.  That would put him right about the teenage years.  We have a rebellious teenage son.

Now, here's something you need to know about the story.  They would have understood it as they listened to Jesus.  According to Jewish laws of inheritance, whenever you had a two-son family, the oldest son got twice as much as the youngest son.  So two-thirds went to the oldest son, in the pecking order, one-third went to the youngest son.  But that inheritance went to the sons when the dad, what? Died.  Hence, inheritance.  You don't get while you're alive.  You get it when the dad dies.  That's when you inherit the property, the money et cetera.

Here we have a son, leveling the highest degree of dishonor to his father in that culture.  To say, "I want my inheritance now," was tantamount to saying, "Dad, I want you dead.  I wish you were dead."  That's what he's saying.  I wish you were dead.  I want you out of my life.  I don't want to be a part of this town.  I don't want to be a part of this family.  I don't want to be apart of you.  Give me my inheritance now.

Now, you got to understand that in that culture, imbued by and soaked in the Ten Commandments, one of which is, "Honor your father and your mother."  This was top of the list of disgracefulness.  And typically, if a son was this rebellious so as to demand the inheritance, it was met by number one, it was met by a slap in the face by the father publicly, typically; number two, public scorn; number three, a funeral service for the son who is now considered dead.  He's put out of the community.  He's put out of the family.  This kind of rebellion was high on the list so a ceremony was actually done.

Now later on in the story, you're going to sort of read that.  Not that there was ever a funeral service of such, but this father will say when the son comes home, "My son who was dead is alive again."  In other words, he's come back home.  So this is a high degree of dishonor.  Here's what I want you to know you to notice.  Even though this son dishonors his father, this father honors the choice of his son.  We read in Verse 12, the second portion of it.  So he divided to them his livelihood.  He did it.  He didn't have to do it.  He did it.  Why did he do it? Why did he say, "Okay, here, I'll give you your one third?"  Well, number one, there was no law technically that would forbid a father from doing this; but number two, and this is really to the point of the entire story, you have a father giving the sinner freedom and honoring the choice of the son, and letting him do his thing.

Now dads, you know how this works.  Moms, you know how this works.  You know that there comes a point in your child's upbringing as they grow.  They reach a certain age where suddenly they know so much more than you will ever hope to know and they let you know that.  You are just ignorant.  You just don't have a clue.  Suddenly, overnight you grew dumber and they grew enlightened.  They don't want any part of this anymore.  You're standing in the way.  You're the barrier to their fun and the barrier to their freedom.  Ah, the teenage years.

What's a parent to do? You probably heard about Mark Twain.  If you've ever read him, you know you always read him with a smile.  He was great at saying things with a few words.  Mark Twain said everything goes pretty well until the child reaches about age 13.  That's the time you put your child in a barrel, put the lead on nice and tight, and feed him through the knot hole.  Then he continues about age 16.  Close up the knot hole.  That's not good advice and that's not what this father does.  What he does is he is flexible.  He honor's the choice of his son.  Here's an Old Testament commandment of inheritance laws that typically was reserved to the death of the father but he's flexible.  He cashes in and gives it to his son.  Not that he agrees with the son's choice, but he honors the choice.

When I say flexible, I don't mean that you should ever compromise your values or lower your standard of righteousness.  But if you are a parent, as your children get older, you're going to recognize that you walk a tight rope.  The tight rope of living with Godly values that you have chosen and letting your children choose what values they want to live life and allowing them to do that.

One man described his frustration as he was giving his third daughter now away in an engagement.  And if you're a dad and you have daughters, you dread the day when you're going to give your daughter away to that guy.  And so this day, I've said every time this happens I'm obsessed with the feeling that I'm giving a million dollars Stradivarius to a guerilla.

And so this father divides up the estate.  He does not slap his son.  He does not publicly scorn his son.  He does not hold a funeral ceremony for his son.  With love and acceptance, he is flexible and he honors the choice and this is something the son will never forget.  This memory of this father will come back will be the first thing on his mind when everything drops after the choice he has made.

By the way, why is it that teenagers go with the wrong crowd? Answer, because that crowd accepts them.  They'll tell you that.  They even tell you they'll join gangs because the gang is the new family that'll accept me for who I am.  Here's a father who is flexible and honors the choice, though disagrees with it, honors the choice of the son of who is come of age.

So number one, he was flexible.  Second characteristic of this father, he was reliable.  Look at Verse 17, when he came to himself, he said, "How many of my father's hired servants," that's day laborers, "have enough bread and to spare and I perish with hunger?"

Now, that little sentence that we just read shows that this son's dad was diligent in business.  This little sentence shows that this father must have been wealthy.  If even the day laborers not only have enough to eat but more than enough to eat since they have food to spare.

So this must have been a pretty substantial estate where dealing with, right? If this son believes he'll be able to leave extravagantly on just his portion of the inheritance cashed in, he must have been a pretty wealthy guy.  And as you read to the story, indeed he had land.  He had animals.  He had buildings.  He hires day laborers.  He hires musicians later on, dancers.  He brings in a fatted calf.  He gives a gold ring.  He gives new clothes and new shoes.  To his son, he was a man of substance.

So, here's a kid who gets a third of that substance, cashes it out, and he goes to another place.  He has this wad of money.  It drains and dries up very, very quickly and now he is bankrupt, humiliated, and depressed.  And as so often happens in situations like this, this young man's thoughts immediately go back to a warm home provided for by a hardworking father.

It's not only a story of a disrespectful son, but of a successful father.  Here's a son who doesn't care at all about the fact that his dad had the kind of work ethic to provide for him an inheritance to begin with.  But there's an important point to be made out that verse.  To you dads who are hardworking and diligent in business like this one, I want to say to you, thank you.

On behalf of heaven, thank you, if for no other reason that you work hard and you are navigating in this very difficult present economy away to provide for your family.  For some of you, I have spoken to you.  You've had to take two jobs, not one or three, just to make ends meet.  You deserve thanks just for that.  I hope you are remembered and thanked on this day and those around you who appreciate you.

Saint Augustine, I've quoted on many occasions.  His most famous work was called Confessions and he writes about his dad, "No one had anything but praise for my father who despite his slender resources was ready to provide his son with all that was needed to enable him to travel so far for the purpose of study."  He is speaking about himself.  "Many of our townsmen far richer than my father went to no such trouble for their children's sake."  Thanking his father for working hard.

I do want to add a note of caution, however.  While you are working hard to provide for your family, make sure that you learn how to balance the hard work with the time spent with family, the time spent with children.  We can become over committed and so preoccupied with our position or our status or our work and we know how to get busy and we can neglect the nurture.

Let me add another footnote to that.  While you are working hard to provide for your family, make sure that you teach your children the value of hard work and here's one way.  If you happen to be blessed financially more than others, so you have a lot more, is because you worked hard than you had growing up.  Your tendency is to say, "I want to give to my children what I never had growing up.  I wish I would have that but I can provide that."  So, the tendency is to want to sort of freely pour into their laps without teaching them the value of hard work.  Refrain yourself from that.  Show them that just like you worked hard, they got to work hard.  I don't know any child that will say Amen to that, but later on they will.  So, he was reliable.  That's the second characteristic.

Here's the third characteristic of this dad.  He was approachable.  Verse 17, "When he came into himself," you know that means, he came to himself, -- light went on, he came to his senses.  He woke up.  Here he is, a Jewish kid feeding pigs in foreign country.  Its like, "What am I doing?"  It came to himself.  He said, "How many of my father's hired servants have bread enough to spare and I perish with hunger? I will arise and go to my father and will say to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I'm no longer worthy to be called your son.  Make me like one of your hired servants."  And he rose and came to his father.  But when was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him.

You can see what's happening, right? The son is rehearsing in his mind an imaginary speech that he'd like to give his dad.  He's run out of everything.  So he plays this little soliloquy in his mind of what could be said.  Here's a kid who made a dumb choice but the dumb choice was met by something he couldn't help and that is bad economic conditions, a severe famine in the land.  So, you have something compounding on the actual catastrophe compounding a bad choice.

The first, he could help his choice.  The second, he could not help.  So he left home and the combination of a bad personal decision and bad economic conditions, the conflicts of those two made him absolutely desperate.  He has no one turn to, no one to talk to, he is on skid row.  The party is over but he came to himself.  And who is the first one that comes to his mind when he is at the lowest point in this life? His dad.  Now, he is going to through this little imaginary conversation with his dad which tells you a lot about the father.  Here is a son that can predict the response of his father.  He knows his father is going to be fair, he knows his father is going to be generous, he knows his father is going to be approachable.  And so he plans to go back.

Never once does this son think his dad is going to refuse him, never once does this son think his dad is going to turn him away.  He knows his father.  By the way, parents, your kids know you better than you think.  I bet they can predict your response in most cases.  When I grew up, I knew when my dad was going to launch into one of his speeches.  He had five speeches and this was going to be number two.  He is going to start with this story and I know what you're going to say, and I could say it with him.  Don't ever do that.

Do you want your kids to know that there is a God in heaven that they can approach and come to at anytime? Wouldn't you love to raise children that are bold to enter the throne room of God to receive grace to help in time of need; to ask, to seek, to knock, to quickly repent of their sin, and be forgiven by a loving father? We'd love that, wouldn't we? That's approachability.  To teach them to approach God with that, they have to approach you the same way.  You teach them God's approachability by modeling approachability.  You know why I say that? Did you know that a child's first impression of God is typically what he sees in a father? That makes sense.  What did Jesus teaches to pray like? Our father who art in heaven.  We have a heavenly father.  Just that term when a child hears father, he is going to naturally think of his father or her father, earthly father.

And so that child is going to quickly think, "God must be a lot like my dad."  That can be either good or bad.  I've been with kids who when their dad enters the room, they tense up.  They're short of breath because of the conditioning they have received.  I knew one girl who was a young teenager.  When her father entered the room, she urinated.  She was so petrified of that man back in her life.  The relationship was so tough.  Well, it's going to be tough to get passed that and say, "You can come to God anytime.  He is so approachable like a father would be," if that's all she knew.

So the question is how approachable are you? Jobs can get bad, the week can go sour, you might be irritable, things aren't working out for you economically, and then you have a child at home wanting your attention.  How do you deal with that? That's tough.  One little boy was at home waiting for his dad.  Dad came home and had a bad day at work.  Dad was irritable and he didn't want really any company and no children.  This child was waiting at the door bouncing up and down with all the energy of a little boy.  Dad didn't really want anything to do with him when he got home.

At dinner time, the son asked this question, "Daddy, how much money do you make an hour?"  Father turned to him and rebuffed him saying, "It's none of your business how much money I make."  The little boy said, "Oh, come on.  I'm not going to tell anybody.  How much money do you make?"  He said, "Okay, I make $25 an hour."  The little boy hung his head very sadly.  After dinner he went into his room and brought out his piggy bank.  He emptied it out and he had $15.  He said, "Dad, can I borrow $10?"  Father said, "Why?"  The child said, "I would like to buy one hour of your time."  That's what he knew.  His dad wasn't approachable.  This dad in the story was approachable.  Here's the son saying, "I am going back to dad and I'm going to say this to dad."  He is predicting the response.  His father was approachable.

Here's the fourth characteristic.  This father was gentle.  Look at in Verse 20 again and we'll read further down.  And he arose and came to his father.  But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him and the son said to him, "Father, I have sinned against heaven and your side."  There's the speech he had rehearsed.  "I'm no longer worthy called your son."  But the father said to his servants, "Bring out the best robe and put it on him.  Put a ring on his finger, sandals on his feet, and bring the fatted calf here and kill it.  Let us eat and be merry for this son of mine was dead and is alive again.  He was lost and is found."  And they began to be merry.

Now, Jesus is telling the story and the Pharisees are listening and I'm just going to say that at this point if these Pharisees were leaning against anything or sitting on anything, they fell off about now because what Jesus said about this father was unknown in that culture.

For a father to act like this after he has been dishonored by the son, it did not happen.  Here's the son who dishonors his father by demanding an inheritance.  Here's the son who runs away, squanders and loses everything and profligate living runs now back home and comes back with another outrageous request.  I want to come back home.

Now, the typical return if this ever did really happen in ancient times, for a son to dishonor parents like this and then come back home, the typical return would mean number one, being scorned by the community and rebuked by the community publicly like as was typical if he left.  Number two, the child was required to bow before the father and kiss his feet.  And number three, that child would work and there would be an evaluation time that the community would, in their scorn, evaluate his work if he would earn back the ability to be a part of this community and this family once again.

There was no grace.  There was no compassion.  There was work.  You earn it.  You get that respect back by hard work.  That's why the Pharisees must have been stunned when it says and notice the word 'Compassion'.  His father had compassion on him.  It's the strongest possible word for compassion, it literally means intestines, guts because they thought the deepest emotions were felt in the gut.  Here's the father deeply emotional toward his son with compassion.  That's what it means.  There's no hesitation here by the father.  There's no castigation by the father.  There's no inquisition.  There's no, "I told you.  You should have listened to me."  None of that at all.  No, there is compassion.  In fact, there's celebration.  Bring out the party, man.  My son was dead and is alive.

I want you to notice something.  Look at Verse 20.  It says, "When he was still a great way off, his father saw him." Stop there.  How is it that this father could see his son way far away? Answer, he must have been looking for him and he must have been looking for him regularly.  His eye must have been on the road regularly for him to spot way down the road, "That's my son coming."

The second thing you'll notice that once he saw him, he ran toward his son.  It's a word that means he sprinted.  He did the 100-yard dash.  It's an athletic term.  Here's a question, why did his dad run? To get to him.  Here's his son way out on the outskirts of town, moving toward the village.  His dad sees him and sprints toward him.  Here's why I believe.  His father wanted to get to his son before his son could get to that village because once that son hit town, that would mean public rebuke, public scorn, "Shame on you, shame, shame."  His father wanted to save his son from all of that.

I want to get to my son before my son gets to this town.  So he ran toward him.  And then it says he kissed him.  The word implies to kiss hardly, to cover him with many kisses.  That's why I'm sure the Pharisees were going "What?"  That's just doesn't happen.  Something else that struck me as I read this is the father says nothing to his son at first.  He listens.  No little speech.  It's not like, "Okay, this is number two speech.  Here it goes," or "This number three speech."  I know he's going to say none of that.  His father listens as his son's speaks and then his father says, "Bring the ring, bring the robe, bring the calf, let's have a party for him."

Here's the application.  You may not approve of what your son or daughter is doing.  That's fair.  You have that right.  You are a parent.  You can voice that.  You might not like who they're dating, that Stradivarius and that guerilla.  You don't approve.  You may not approve of his earrings that he's wearing or her tattoos all over her body, but that is your child, and you only have the key to that heart.  And when they come back if at all in any capacity, that is a very strategic moment, don't waste the moment.

Once researcher sampled 500 college dropouts and discovered the number one outstanding characteristic in all of these college dropouts was a sense of isolation from parents, especially from the father.  This father was approachable.  This father was gentle.

Fifth and finally, this dad in this story was impartial.  There are two sons.  Verse 25, "The older son was in the field and he came and drew near to the house.  He heard music and dancing."  I wish I had several weeks to do more messages on this.  We just don't have the time.  So he called one of his servants and asked what these things meant.  And so he said, "Your brother has come and because he had received him safe and sound, your father has killed the fatted calf."  But he was angry and would not go in.  Therefore, his father came out and pleaded with him.  So he answered and said to his father "Lo, this many years I have been serving you.  I've never transgressed your commandment at any time and you never gave me a young goat that I may make merry with my friends."

But as soon as this son of yours -- have you ever heard those words before? He didn't say, "Now when my brother comes home."  It's suddenly, "This son of yours."  Parents do this.  He's my son.  Look at son.  And if the son does something bad, "You know what your son did today?"  What happened? "Now, this son of yours who has devoured your livelihood with harlots and you killed the fatted calf for him."

And he, the father, said to him, the oldest son, "Son, you are always with me and all that I have is yours.  It was right that we should make merry and be glad for your brother was dead and is alive again, was lost and is found."  Now the elder son would receive two thirds eventually of the entire inheritance.  Not one third, but more, two thirds.

Here, he's complaining that his dad showed the younger brother mercy.  There is no impartiality in this dad but that's exactly what he's accused of by the elder son.  Dad loved his younger son.  He's willing to forgive his younger son.  But the dad also loved the older son and was giving the rest of the estate.  All that I have is yours.  Remember, two thirds.  He's taken the third and squandered it.  The rest of it, all of it is yours, and you were with me always.  He didn't play favorites.

Look at something else.  Verse 28, "But he was angry and would not go in."  Now, the father, the party, it's all inside the building.  This oldest son wouldn't go in.  Therefore, his father came out and pleaded with him, just like the father came out of the town to greet the youngest son.  He comes out of the house to plead with the oldest brother.  He loves them both equally.  There's no favoritism here.  He wants them both to feel loved, both to feel special, both to feel accepted, and he's misunderstood because of it.

The older son, not the dad, pulls up the comparisons.  You never did that for me, you're doing that for him.  You never gave me a goat, you're giving him a calf.  The father never makes comparisons.  The father never says, "Well, Shlomo, I wish you were more like Mordecai.  Mordecai is just a great son.  None of that is ever in the story.  There's this lavish love for both sons and he is greatly misunderstood.  So in short, this is a dad you can come home to.  This is the kind of dad the world needs more of.  This is the kind of dad churches need more of.

Well, you child in years to come when they say, "You remind me of your dad."  Stick out the tongue or stick out the chest.  I close with what William Franklin wrote.  If he is wealthy and prominent, and you stand in awe of him, call him father.  If he sits in shirt sleeves and suspenders at a baseball game in a picnic, call him pop.  If he wheels the baby carriage and carries bundles meekly, call him papa, with the accent on the first syllable.  If he belongs to a literary circle and writes culture papers, call him papa, with the accent on the last syllable.  If however, he makes a pal of you when you're good and is too wise to let you pull the wool over his loving eyes when your not.  If moreover you're quite sure that no other fellow you know has quite so fine a father, you may call him dad.

This father was the dad to this son and the emphasis is on the merciful father.  All of that to show the Pharisees and the crowds listening that God in heaven is like that, merciful, loving, gentle, compassionate, flexible, et cetera; allowing us to choices, receiving us back when there is repentance and joy because of it.

Let's pray.  Father in heaven, it's so great that we have the opportunity to call you that.  It never would be possible unless your son went to the cross and shed his blood that our sins might be forgiven, that we could have a relationship with God that is that close and that intimate.  And so we're grateful, for the gospel that we have heard that has transformed sinners into children of God who have a heavenly father and as Hebrews says, a brother like Jesus.

Lord, we pray that our appreciation of you on this Father's Day would grow, that our understanding would deepen, that you are this kid of a father, and infinitely more so that when sin abounds, grace overflows.  When there is repentance, you are willing, more than willing to forgive and to provide.

And then Father, I pray for dads.  That's really my heart, it's for families today and especially for men who are fathers to become in some small measure even a reflection of this father.  Lord, some of us don't have dads to honor.  We simply have a memory.  And for some here, the memory is not a sweet one.  Would you further the healing in that area, Lord? And would you let them know that you are different than any human father.  You are perfect.  There's no flaw in you.

Whatever needs to be altered in our view of the fatherhood of God based upon our earthly dad, would you please do that? We're asking you, Lord, to do a lot of things but you're the only one that can do them.  And you told us to ask, to seek, to knock because you are so approachable, and so we do in the name of Jesus.  Amen.

Additional Messages in this Series

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6/18/1989
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A Dad You Can Come Home To
Luke 15:11-32
Skip Heitzig
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A Dad You Can Come Home To - Luke 15:11-32 from our study Father's Day Messages with Skip Heitzig from Calvary Albuquerque.
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6/17/2007
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A Man With A Plan
Genesis 18:16-33
Skip Heitzig
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Most every man plans out his life: his education, his career, his marriage etc. The question is whose blueprints are you working off of? As Christian men, we ought to have surrendered our lives to God's plan. Today, on this Father's Day, we consider God's design for men. Since He is our heavenly Father, He must certainly be concerned that we earthly fathers are effectively fulfilling their God-given role. Let’s take a fresh look at what Abraham discovered about God’s plan for his own life.
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6/15/2008
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Talk to Your Father
Matthew 6:9-13
Skip Heitzig
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My mom used the line," Talk to your father", whenever I'd ask her for something she wasn't sure I should have. Jesus told us the same thing in so many words, but in an entirely different way. He wanted His followers to know they could go directly to God because He was not only His Father, but He was also their Father in Heaven. Today on Father's day, lets enjoy learning how to talk to our Father the way Jesus instructed.
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6/16/2013
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What Kids See in Their Dads
Luke 8:40-56
Skip Heitzig
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Jairus' daughter saw three things in her dad: a father who was unashamed to seek Jesus, a father who brought Jesus home, and a father who expressed love for her. Fathers are encouraged to have a personal relationship with Jesus, to bring Him into the home, and to allow their children to see that relationship in practice.
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6/19/2016
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#dadlife
1 Thessalonians 2:10-12
Skip Heitzig
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Happy Father’s Day! I’ve loved being a dad, and now I relish being a grandpa. There’s just nothing better. I also love the fact that we can celebrate together one of God’s great callings—fatherhood. Today we look at three verses depicting the apostle Paul as a spiritual father to a young church in Macedonia. From this brief description, we discover three simple observations of what it means to be a great dad. (Caution: if your dad didn’t match up to these, rather than being disappointed, be the kind of person, like Paul, who will make a positive impact.)
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6/18/2017
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A Father's Triangle
Proverbs 3:11-12
Skip Heitzig
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A triangle is a shape with three sides. It is one of the basic forms in geometry. All three sides are essential to the overall shape. So, too, is the role of a father in the life and well-being of a child. Our text in Proverbs 3 today shows the simple yet balanced direction for dads to go when it comes to their involvement with their children. Below is Proverbs 3:11-12 in visual form.
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6/17/2018
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Our Father in Heaven
Matthew 6:9
Skip Heitzig
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There are 7 additional messages in this series.
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